Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and Ringing Phones

Jim and I went out to dinner tonight.  About half way through the meal the familiar strains of Crosby, Still, Nash and Young start going through my mind:  “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”  I probably went for years without the words to this song going through my mind – until the age of the cell phone.  Now they come into my mind all the time.  Like tonight at dinner. . . .

Jim and I are quietly chatting and eating our meal when a phone rings.  For a minute it only registers as incongruous.  My mind asks itself: Why is a phone ringing in a crowded restaurant dining room?  And then I remember, it’s the age of the cell phone. 

But the phone didn’t just ring.  The person at the next table, who was sharing her dinner with two children and an older lady I assumed was her mother, answered.  For some reason the person on the other end of her phone didn’t answer back right away, so the lady felt she had to ask three times, “Who is this?”, before hanging up.  I could feel myself becoming crazed!  It wasn’t long after that another lady at a table nearby also took a phone call, and left her husband to eat his dinner in silence while she chatted away.  All of a sudden, there they were again, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, with their familiar strains of: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

Before cell phones, we would have thought it BEYOND rude to ignore the person on the other side of the table at dinner so that we could talk to someone not even in the same room, sometimes even when they refused to answer back!  We would just have loved the one we were with!  Do you know what it says to me when a person interrupts their time with me to respond to a ringing phone?  It says: “Sorry, but this call is SO much more important than YOU.  I have to take it.”

I often meet people for some informal counseling.  Usually these meetings last for an hour or an hour and a half.  Do you know what I do with my phone?  I shut it off, or I leave it in the car.  If I have to take it with me, I keep it on vibrate and only CHECK the name of the caller if I have to do so.  If I suspect it’s not important I silence it.

When you’re with ME, I want to convey that you are the most important person in my life at that moment.  So, like Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, I’m going to choose to love the one I’m WITH and not the one on the other end of the phone.

When I’m with YOU, I want to feel that I have YOUR full attention.  I want to feel that I’m the most important person in your life at that moment and your time with me has value.

So, the next time I meet with you, you can take that call, but it had better be IMPORTANT, or I just might grab your phone from your hand and submerge it in the nearest liquid available.  You’ve been warned!  :)

REMEMBERING DAD ON FATHER'S DAY '14

My dad died back in 2000.  It has been a long time without him.  As I was sitting in church this morning, listening to several men talk about their dads, I thought about mine.  I feel sad when I think about my dad because it seemed he spent so much of his life either unhappy or angry.  However, I do have some great memories that make him special to me.

When I was in late elementary school, Friday nights were spent with my dad.  We’d have dinner at home and then we’d do something, just us two.  Sometimes we’d go to a movie.  I clearly remember the time I convinced him to take me to see a movie called, “Adam and Eve”, a story right from the pages of the Bible!  The actors were wearing full length body stockings designed to make them look as if they weren’t wearing any clothing.  For years my dad talked about how embarrassed he was to be seeing that movie with his daughter!  As I got older and he told that story, I just thought it was funny!  We always finished up the night at 2 Guys in North Bergen where he’d treat me to at least one 45 RPM record.  (Okay, now I’m dating myself!  Anyone younger than 60 probably won’t know what I’m talking about!).  I loved those nights out with Dad.  They lasted until I reached an age when I didn’t want him to hold my hand anymore.  He was devastated.  I was your typical 14 year old!

Occasionally, we’d travel with the family to visit my mom’s sister Joan who owned an inn in Rehoboth Beach, DE.  Because we were both introverts, we could only take so much visiting, so when we had our chance, we’d sneak off to the boardwalk for some Thrasher’s Fries, and we’d take a long walk.  One of the things I loved about my dad is that because we were both quiet, we didn’t have to talk on these walks.  We simply walked and enjoyed one another’s company.

My dad had a pet name for me, Dossy.  No one else has ever called me by that name, and I’m glad.  It’s dumb. . . but most of all, it was my Dad’s name for me, and his alone. 

My dad frequently told me I was beautiful.  He was prejudiced, and off the mark, but it was kind of him to say so.

It was my dad who gave me such a clear sense that it was okay to be me.  Yes, I was quiet, but so was he.  It’s not easy being quiet in a world where extroverts dominate, believe you me, so Dad’s loving affirmation of me, just the way I was, was probably the most loving thing he did for me.

I was retelling my spiritual journey to someone the other day when I remembered, it was Dad who encouraged me in that.  He and Mom had sent my brother and me to a church just a few doors from our house when I was somewhere between 2^nd and 6^th grade.  They stayed home.  Before that time, we had never attended church. 

Eventually, we moved away from that church, and when I was in middle school, I began to ask my parents to take us to church.  So began the quest, with my Dad, to find a local church.  I remember trying several churches of different Protestant denominations, before we settled on one just across Washington St. Park in lower Union City, New Jersey.  We were both moved by the passionate heart for Jesus that the young pastor of that church had.  From that time on, we went to church as a family and my parents continued to attend churches even after they moved to Florida without us.

I wish I could say that my dad was a believer in Jesus, but I don’t know for sure. He could be moved to tears by a sermon.  He would think about God and read his Bible, but mostly only when he was in ill health, which was on and off for the last 20 or so years of his life.  I know I never saw him experience the joy of the Lord in all his life, however, I still hope he is one of those who greet me when I get to my heavenly home.

On this Father’s Day, I miss him and the connection we always had because we were so much alike.  Thank you Dad for being my dad.

EXPANDING THE KINGDOM THROUGH E MAIL ONE PERSON AT A TIME

When Jim and I were in Florida back in April I had a phone call from someone whose name I didn’t recognize.  He was from an organization which sprung out of Campus Crusade for Christ and which endeavors to share the gospel all over the world.  I had completely forgotten that about 2 years ago now I had expressed an interest in volunteering.  And then, life intruded, as it has a way of doing.  Now, however, his call reactivated my interest.  Within a couple of days I had filled out the application form, including references, and sent it in.  I’m into my fifth week of hands on training and I am in awe of what the Lord is up to in this world in which we live! 

Each day an e mail comes into my inbox from some far flung corner of the world from an individual who has logged onto our website. There they can find lots of information about the gospel of Jesus Christ, including how to have a personal relationship with Him, plus discipleship information for new believers.  When they respond with a decision, or even just interest, or they have a specific prayer request, their e mails come to us volunteers and we respond.

In these few short weeks I have had about 30 opportunities to share the gospel, and it has been AWESOME!  All over the world there are people who are hungry for Jesus and asking for help to know Him – even in places where doing so might have dire consequences for them. I have been asked to pray for them to resist temptation, for family members to come to faith, for help in growing to know Jesus and walk with Him. And I have been asked questions about heaven and how to recognize the voice of God and the work of the Holy Spirit in someone’s life.  This is amazing, satisfying, kingdom expanding, God glorifying work. 

If you have ever become discouraged about the spiritual state of the world, let me tell you, the Lord is at work, powerfully, in ways we cannot yet see. 

If you’d like to know more, contact me via Facebook.

 

 

MY 97 YEAR OLD ROLE MODEL

If you’ve been reading my blogs then you know that last June I trained to be a hospice volunteer.  Two things came together to move me in that direction.  The first was the truly blessed experience I had with my own mom in the last 5 weeks of her life, the last few days of which she spent in a hospice home in Florida. By itself, that may not have been enough to move me to volunteer, but the Lord was at work in my heart in a way that moved me to do so.  I’d been convicted some time before about how nearly all of my ministry was centered in my church with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I knew the Lord was moving me to change that.  So, when I saw a flyer at my church from a local hospital’s Visiting Nurses Association advertising hospice training, I signed up.  The rest, as they say, is history.

Since I began I’ve been blessed to serve many people at the end of their lives.  Some were in their homes, others in nursing homes or other care facilities.  As is usually the case, I volunteered to bring THEM comfort or encouragement or companionship, but in the process I am the one who receives the greatest blessing. 

A few weeks ago, an Alzheimer’s patient I’d been visiting for more than 6 months, died.  Although communication with him was difficult, even at the beginning, at the end it was almost non-existent, yet communicate he did.  Once, he affectionately brushed my face with his hands, another time he blew me kisses when I was leaving.  Often he implied, in perfectly lucid speech, that I surely had better things to do with my time than visit him.  As his condition deteriorated, it was enough just to sit with him and speak to him, even though he rarely responded.  I was sad when I heard the news that he had died.

Currently, I’m visiting with a 97 year old woman.  How I love those visits!  We talk about our families and we chat about her life experiences.  As I was praying for her on my way to my weekly visit, I thought about what we might talk about.  What I wanted to tell her is that when I grow up, I want to be just like her!

One of the things about aging that really bugs me is that the older we get the more our conversation tends to revolve around getting old.  While we may once have talked about world affairs, books we’ve read, places we’ve gone, now we talk about our ailments, our medications, our doctors, our surgeries.  Where we once may have experienced the joy of being alive, now we talk about all the physical trials we have on the way to being dead.  We’ve all been around elderly folk who do nothing but complain about all this – as if it’s somehow a surprise.  I don’t want to be that kind of elderly person.

My 97 year old friend is not like that and that’s why she is my role model for aging well.  For one thing, I have never heard her criticize or complain about her family.  She’s so proud of each one and freely brags about them and their accomplishments.  Her lack of complaining puts me to shame for all the complaining about people that I do! 

She is experiencing all the limitations of age, but instead of being taken by surprise by them, or lamenting over all she’s lost, she accepts them as part of the process.  She makes the best of what she’s still able to do by taking advantage of all that her living situation offers.  I can’t tell you how much complaining I do over the most minor annoyances!

She is never cranky, cantankerous, or edgy.  She is cheerful, gregarious, funny and wise, often giving me advice on what is to come!

Whenever I’ve tried to tell her how much I appreciate the way she has accepted the aging process and how much it encourages me, she brushes me off.  I love that about her too.

My day is coming and I already realize many of the negative qualities in myself that just might make me the kind of elderly person I don’t want to be!  But my friend is teaching me, it doesn’t have to be that way.  I can refuse to complain about my losses, my illnesses, my medications, my dependence on others.  Instead, I can choose to accept the process and in so doing I can be an encouragement to those around me, even when I’m 97, should the Lord choose to give me that many years.

If you’re reading this blog and you and I happen on one another in the years ahead and I begin complaining about aging – feel free to smack me upside the head!

 

DOGS, CATS, AND AUGUST ADVENTURES

I was reading a previous blog this morning entitled, “I’m sorry Mrs. Elwood, but you have cancer”, when it came to me: August has often been the Lord’s chosen month for revealing His glory to me through some amazing faith adventures!  It was in August, 2004, that I was diagnosed with cancer.  It was the end of July into August that I went on my first mission’s trip to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.  And it was in August of last year that I donated a kidney.  Interesting, huh?  That leads me to share a book.

 “Dog and Cat Theology”, by Bob Sjorgren, was featured in a workshop I attended at my yearly Tuscarora Retreat earlier this month.  The author begins by describing dogs and cats like this:

·        A dog says: “You love me, you feed me, you take care of all my needs – YOU must be God”.

 

·        While a cat says: “You love me, you feed me, you take care of all my needs – I must be God”.

The author also cites something I had never heard, but those who have had dogs or cats as pets might confirm:  Dogs have masters.  Cats have staff.  Funny, huh?

As I write this our cat Pippin is sitting at my feet boring holes in me with his eyes.  He’s trying to get this member of his staff to provide “something”, although I haven’t figured out yet what it is.  It’s too early for his dinner, too late to share my lunch, so what else could it be?  I have no idea, but I’m sure it requires MY doing something for HIM. A dog would undoubtedly just gaze up at me with complete adoration.  Back to the book!

The interesting part of the book is when the author ties in his observations about dogs and cats to Christians.  He explains that some Christians are more like dogs.  They recognize all that the Lord has done and they become worshipers - completely enamored with the goodness and greatness of the Lord.  For them, it’s all about HIM.

Other Christians are more like cats.  They also recognize all the Lord has done and they are blown away by those things.  For them, its proof that God’s blessing is all about THEM.  Not a wrong view, says the author, just an incomplete one.  And he says, accurately, I think, that many of us are much like cats, but we long to be dogs.

Thinking about those August revelations of God’s glory reminds me of how much I want to be a DOG!  I want to look at those experiences and recognize God’s greatness!

What did I learn about Him in our August adventures?

·        His strength is made perfect in weakness.  When I am most physically, emotionally or spiritually weak, and yet, I carry on – it’s God’s strength on display! 

·        He is Jehovah Shalom, “Prince of Peace”.  He “owns” peace.  His peace transcends the natural.  His peace is supernaturally activated in those places where our natural default would be FEAR.   Who could DO that but God?

·        He is the God who Sees.  He sees those we often overlook and invites us to BE Jesus to them so they too can see His glory.

·        He is omniscient. He knows where to find the kidney of a 35 year old in a 66 year old person and then He calls that person to share it with someone else.

·        He has a voice and He calls His own by name.  Sometimes He calls them on “not to be missed” adventures. 

·        He allows His children to go through deep valleys so that He can reveal Himself to be the Almighty One, Comforter, Ever Present Help, and Healer.

When I act like a cat, I think He did all those things just to bless ME.  When I’m acting like a dog, I realize, He did all that so He could bless me, but more than that, He did all those things so that I might SEE and WORSHIP HIM and BRING HIM GLORY!

I wonder what new glories of God’s work and character He will reveal THIS summer.  I can’t wait to see, so I can share them with YOU!

 

 

SACRED CELEBRATIONS

This weekend we Christians celebrate the two most sacred days on our faith calendar, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. 

This Friday is Good Friday, the day on which we remember the death of Jesus. 

This Sunday is Easter Sunday, the day on which we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

The events of these two days change everything for us.

We believe that Jesus died according to the express will and purpose of God.  Jesus did for mankind what we could never do for ourselves – He kept God’s law – perfectly.  Because He did so, He could become the spotless Lamb, the sacrificial Lamb, the One who would become sin for us.  He is the fulfillment of the substitutionary picture portrayed in the Old Testament sacrificial system.

Jesus, the Son of God, the sinless one, came as a man to die as a man, willingly giving up His own life, to become my sin bearer and yours.  We deserved death for sin, but He took our sin upon Himself on the cross so that we might be forgiven.  His death made eternal life possible. His death made possible a close intimate relationship with the Creator of the Universe. 

But that wasn’t all.  Just days later, Jesus rose from the dead.  For believers in Jesus, this is glorious good news!  Jesus not only died for our sins, He rose in new life!  His resurrection makes our resurrection possible.

In 1 Corinthians 15 the Apostle Paul says this of the resurrection:

“If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised.  And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. . . if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile, you are still in your sins. . . If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.”

Recently, I had an opportunity to attend a workshop where clergy from a variety of faiths spoke about end of life issues.  I listened attentively as they talked about what we who ministered to patients at the end of their lives needed to know about how to treat those who were dying in accordance with their faith practices.

Many of them spoke of the rituals necessary for the dying:

·        Prayers which needed to be prayed

·        Certain Psalms which needed to be read

·        Bodies needed cleansing and/or anointing

Only clergy or people especially trained could perform the final acts.

Some of the clergy made no mention of a resurrection.

I felt sad that there seemed to be no hope for the dying. 

But for those who know Jesus, there is HOPE!  Death holds no fear. 

Oh, to be sure, many of us are afraid of what comes before death!  Will it hold pain, loss of mental acuity?  Will it be tragic?  But because of the resurrection, we do know that death is the entrance to heaven.  Death is the doorway through which we meet Jesus face to face!  Getting there might hold some fear, but a certain hope lies on the other side!

The Apostle Paul gives encouragement about this when he says:

“Death has been swallowed up in victory!  Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is your sting?

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God!  He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!”

When we have confidence in a resurrection, there is great reason to celebrate!

Jesus was victorious over death!  For believers in Jesus death holds no sting because eternal life in the presence of Jesus waits on the other side!

No ritual will get you there.  No absence of ritual will keep you out.

Belief in Jesus, who died for your sin and rose again so that you might be declared righteous before God – is the ONLY requirement for heaven. 

I don’t need to DO anything but receive what He’s done for me as a gift! 

Ephesians 2:8:

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the GIFT of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”

By God’s grace, Jesus did for me what I could NEVER do, make myself righteous before God.  All anyone needs to do is reach out a hand and receive the salvation He offers.

Will YOU?

IN CHRIST ALONE

In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song; this Cornerstone, this solid Ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand. In Christ alone! Who took on flesh Fulness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones he came to save: Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied - For every sin on Him was laid; Here in the death of Christ I live. There in the ground His body lay Light of the world by darkness slain: Then bursting forth in glorious Day Up from the grave he rose again! And as He stands in victory Sin's curse has lost its grip on me, For I am His and He is mine - Bought with the precious blood of Christ. No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath. Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home, Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

GOD'S NOT DEAD, I'VE SEEN HIM AT WORK

 

 Yesterday Jim and I went to see the movie, “God’s Not Dead”.  The movie is about a college freshman who shows up on his first day of philosophy class and right off the bat has his Christian faith challenged by his professor.  The professor, an atheist, begins the class by asking each student to write “God is dead” on a piece of paper, with their signature, so that they can dispense with that “myth” and conduct the class from an atheistic perspective.  The young freshman will not write and sign a statement which, for him, was not true.  And so his very unhappy professor challenges him to spend twenty minutes in each of the next three classes attempting to prove his own point that God is NOT dead.

Jim and I really enjoyed the movie.  The young man did a great job of standing before the professor and his peers to prove his point, and of course, we were rooting for him.

One of the themes running through the movie, not only for the freshman, but for other characters as well, is the truth that claiming to be a committed follower of Jesus will cost you something, sometimes that something will be BIG.  For the main character, the stand he took for his faith threatened the future he had planned for himself.  For another, it cost the love and protection of her family.  For a third, it cost the loss of a friend.  The cost of following Jesus is one He Himself pointed out.  Sometimes we’re just so anxious for people to come to Jesus and know the blessings, that we neglect to tell them that there is also a cost.  The movie didn’t sugar coat this.

On the other hand, as with some books I’ve read by Christian authors, this film had a “too good to be true” quality about it.  By the end of the movie, the freshman wins over his entire class.  A pastor leads a tough guy to faith, and everyone lives happily ever after.

I was thinking about the great works of God this film portrays as I drove to a women’s study this morning.  At first I was a bit whiny about why the real life evidence of God’s power isn’t always as wonderful as this movie.  I’ve been praying for and talking to people close to me about Jesus for years and not one so far has come to faith.  But then I was thinking how this was a movie.  It was based on facts, but those facts didn’t all necessarily happen at the same time or in the same way as the movie portrayed them.  I’m sure those who wrote the screenplay took some liberties in pulling together different events and then putting them ALL in the same movie.

I was thinking about how much I long to have the Lord work in that obvious, awesome way in MY life, in REAL life, as it did in that movie.  As the morning went on, in that quiet way that the Lord often has, He tapped me on the shoulder and opened my eyes to see the importance of what He WAS up to in my own life just this week.

One of my current “God” opportunities is to teach middle school Sunday school.  Teaching middle school kids was not an assignment I would normally have volunteered to do. It’s been a really long time since I’ve worked with this bunch! 

If you know an 11-13 year old, or have one living with you, then you know what they’re like.  They are full of energy, especially verbal energy!  I’m thinking that for most of them, as soon as their feet hit the floor in the morning, they’re talking – incessantly!   Put a few of them together and a verbal free for all is what you get.  At the same time these non-stop talkers are inquisitive, bright, insightful, curious, full of enthusiasm, great listeners, and the BEST group to teach – once you can get them to stop talking, of course!  After morning coffee with my husband, they are the first group I meet on Sunday morning and I can’t WAIT!

You know what I discovered this week as we made our way through a lesson from Mark’s gospel?  God is at work in those kids!  As they engage with the Scriptures they ask thought provoking questions that keep this teacher on her toes.  They grapple with faith issues, even more perhaps than some adults.  Some are curious enough that they go home and pour over the Bible to do some investigating on their own (can you believe it?). 

In my real life I may not get to see the ultimate outcome.  I may never have the privilege, as the pastor in the movie, to lead one of these kids to Jesus in class, but that doesn’t mean God is not working in power in those inquisitive minds, and open hearts, bringing them to faith in Jesus.  

Then there was the phone call I made yesterday.  A church friend asked me to call her friend.  This friend, about my age, had been asked to teach a Sunday school class of high school girls and she was not sure at all how to proceed.  In the course of our conversation, in which I described what I do with middle schoolers, and how responsive they are and how they bless me week in and week out, we found ourselves getting excited together at what the Lord has in store for her and her class.  Maybe not as exciting as the movie, but evidence that the Lord is at work in my ordinary, and her ordinary, lives getting us excited at what He’s up to!

Then today, at our women’s group, we had special visitors.  A nearby home which ministers to women battling alcoholism and addictions came with their choir to bless us with their singing and testimonies.  Through the lives of these women, all ages and backgrounds, we could see the Lord at work, transforming women by the life and power of Jesus. 

One after another they told their real life stories of redemption – redemption from sin and death, redemption from a life of self-destruction, redemption of their past to lives of productivity and dreams for the future – all through faith in Jesus.  God is at work in them – in many ways as dramatically as in the movie.

I haven’t seen them recently, but a couple of years ago when I was driving, I’d occasionally see one of these little green plastic men on a suburban sidewalk, holding a sign that said, “Children at play”.  These little guys, probably put there by parents, were reminders to us drivers to slow down and keep our eyes open for kids.

When I’m tempted to think that the Lord isn’t working in my real life, as compared to a movie, I need one of those little green men with a different sign, to remind me:  “Slow down, open your eyes, God IS at work!”

And then I need to walk by faith in what I cannot YET see.  GOD IS AT WORK!

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  Hebrews 11:1