Every now
and then, when I’m happily going my way, feeling pretty good about myself, the
Lord gives me a glimpse of just how sinful I really am, and it hurts.
I have spent
time, night and day these last few days wondering, and talking with the Lord,
about how I could have said words I said, hurtful and demeaning words, that I cannot
take back. There was a way to address
the things that bothered me that would have resulted in a parting of the ways
perhaps, but left the relationship intact. I did not take that way and now I believe
the damage is irreparable.
The irony of
it all is that I’ve been studying the Sermon on the Mount, specifically the
verses where Jesus says: “You have heard it said, ‘Do not murder and anyone who
murders will be subject to judgment.’
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject
to judgment.”
I’d like to
think that I would never be guilty of breaking the commandment that says, “You
shall not kill.” Pretty proud of that
fact, actually. But as soon as Jesus
takes it to the next step, I’m done for.
Today I
understand so well the words of the Apostle Paul in Romans 7:
“I find this
law at work (in me). When I want to do
good, evil is right there with me. For in
my inner being I delight in God’s law, but I see another law at work in the
members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a
prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched (wo)man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?”
This week I
have been a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. It shames me.
Clinging to
Paul’s final word:
“Who will
rescue me from this body of death? Thanks
be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
