THE LONG GOODBYE

Moving isn’t for wimps!  Since coming back from a week in Florida in May, Jim and I have been busy cleaning out and cleaning up after living for 31 years in the same house.  

Back in 1984 when we bought the house, we loved the fact that it had tons of storage and closet space.  I wouldn’t say we love it now.  For all these years, instead of throwing things out, we just stored it in the attic, or the rec room, or the garage, or the mud room.  Hence, it has taken us more than four weeks to go through it all and purge our STUFF (I would use a more colorful word that begins with a c, but I won’t).

Then there is the cleaning. I have never been a Mrs. Clean kind of woman.  I had a neighbor in our previous house who washed down her walls twice a year.  Yeah, that’s NOT me!  My motto has always been, “if it looks neat, it doesn’t have to be spotless”.  

I’m not a neatnik, but I’m not a slob either, so it came as a very big and unpleasant surprise when moving beds, dressers, and things that don’t get moved much, to discover just how dirty floors, baseboards, etc. can get because things never get moved.  Dust bunnies everywhere!  And then there were all the things we just didn't SEE that we began to look at through a potential buyer's eyes!  Yuck!  Since then we have been cleaning maniacs!  We're are considering buying stock in Magic Erasers!

And then there was the painting.  We hate painting.  After weeks of painting rooms we had neglected for quite a while, we still hate painting, probably more than before, but boy, do those rooms look nice! 

We have finally reached the place where all the workmen have done their jobs, the big painting projects are mostly done, lots of stuff ended up in the trash, even more to a local mission, and some has been given away to friends and family.  We can see the light at the end of the proverbial "getting ready to move" tunnel!  Whoo hoo!

All of us who have lived together for the last five years -Jim and I, our son in law Nathan, daughter Becky and granddaughter Emma - have been planning a move to Florida for a long time, but were waiting for Emma to graduate high school.  Now she has.  

Nathan is already in Florida working.  Becky is finishing up her last day of work today and she and Emma are leaving for Florida for good on Tuesday of next week.  On July 12 Jim and I hope to put the house on the market, and then it’s just a matter of time for us.

For the last week, Becky has been saying her good-byes to co-workers past and present, and to her high school friends.  It has been a very emotional week for her. We have never lived anywhere but New Jersey, so the move to Florida, while filling us with excitement and anticipation, also has its down side.  Goodbyes are part of the package.

I have watched Becky's struggles with her goodbyes, and have been thankful that Jim and I have been too busy, our move still months off in the future, for us to have thought yet about the goodbyes.  But come they will, and I know they won’t be easy.

Both Jim and I have family here in New Jersey, and while we hope they will all visit us in Florida, being so far will probably mean no more Thanksgiving dinners together as extended families, no birthday dinners, or weekends at the shore.  We leave behind some really wonderful neighbors who have made living on this street a blessing, and treasured friends from my English as a Second Language class that it will be hard to leave.  Unless the Lord calls me back, I leave behind my yearly weekend retreat at Tuscarora in Pennsylvania, which has been a source of spiritual blessing and a reunion with sisters in Christ from all over northern New Jersey.  And it will mean leaving behind our beloved Christian family at Montvale Evangelic Free Church and ministries which have been so significant to us both as our way of serving the Lord in our church.

I know the goodbyes are coming, but thankfully, I haven’t had time to process that yet.  When the time comes, I hope I will be able to convey to all those I have come to appreciate, care about, and love, how much knowing them has meant to me, how the Lord has blessed me through them. 

I know there will be many new friends, ministries, neighbors and family gatherings and a new church in Florida that I will love, and I look forward to them.  But the goodbyes will come first and they will not be easy.

TO GOD'S NAME BE GLORY!

Yesterday was my last day teaching middle school Sunday school.  It was never MY plan to teach middle schoolers.  I had taught elementary Sunday school classes before but left teaching Sunday school to focus on women’s ministries.  And then it happened, both of our youth leaders, middle school and senior high, left our church the very same summer for other jobs.  Suddenly, we found ourselves having to scramble to cover both senior high and middle school Sunday school classes. 

I had been on a few missions trips with the senior high and so I thought I might like to teach them, since I already had a relationship with many of them, but then it was suggested I take the middle school class instead.  I was somewhat apprehensive. I didn’t know many of the kids and wasn’t sure a 60 something woman could relate to them.  And middle school kids have a reputation for being wild and crazy (in a good way), and I wasn’t sure I was ready for all that physical and verbal energy.  However, I could teach, and so I decided to say yes to the nudging of the Spirit, counting on God’s ability to cover for my lacks.

What I discovered – not surprisingly when we follow God’s lead – was that I loved it, and I loved middle schoolers.  Oh, they were verbally energetic all right!  The biggest issues I EVER had with them was their tendency to talk – a LOT!  If I turned to my right to answer a question, I could be sure that several conversations would break out on my left and I would have to spend some time pulling everyone back in to focus on the topic at hand.

They were talkative, but they were also inquisitive, and eager to KNOW things.  They ask questions and more questions!  Their comments regarding a Bible passage were often incredibly insightful.  And they were still of an age where their love for Jesus was open and honest.  I came to love all of those things, and more, about them. 

From the start I determined that I would not use a typical middle school curriculum.  Often these focus on social issues, or moral dilemmas facing middle school kids. While there is nothing wrong with that, I’m a firm believer that when we study the Bible, we’ll hit on those issues, because the Bible is immensely practical. The underlying social and moral issues of Biblical times, caused by the sin nature of mankind, are still relevant today.  And God's Word always has the answer for how a believer in Jesus should respond.

So we studied God’s Word and only God’s Word.  Over the course of the few years I taught them we studied the book of Acts, the Gospel of Mark, and this year the life of Joseph from Genesis and the beginning of the book of Exodus – primarily in those last two focusing on the sovereignty of God.  I would take the passage under study – usually a chapter at a time - and go through it on my own at home, asking questions middle school students might have, in order to clarify customs, or social issues of the day and place in question.  Sometimes I’d decide to ask questions that would help them put themselves in the place of the Bible characters.  I determined NEVER to dumb down the Word of God, but to challenge the students to THINK for themselves and to think biblically.

For example: When Joseph (in Genesis) interpreted a dream he had in which the sun, moon and stars bowed down to him, as referring to an action his parents and brothers would one day make toward him, I asked what might have motivated him to tell them his dream.

I asked how they would feel if they were the brothers, to hear that they would one day bow down to the brother of whom they were so jealous.

Later in the account, when Joseph was falsely accused and thrown into prison, I asked if they thought he would have remembered the dreams God had given him, and what impact that might have had on his ability to bear the wrong done to him.

 We considered how the circumstances of Joseph’s life contributed to his faith and trust in God, although everything seemed to be going against him.

We talked about the sovereignty of God, so evident through the whole of Joseph’s life, and I asked how His sovereignty is evident in their lives today.

I asked about how the struggles they were experiencing could be the very things God was using to teach them about Himself, as He had done with Joseph. And we talked about what they were learning about Him.

I had just two goals for them as I taught God’s Word.  The first was that would know God, especially as He revealed Himself through His Son, Jesus.  And the second was that they would find the Word of God so exciting and so practical that they would want to be life-long learners and students of the Bible. 

The first goal I emphasized through all the lessons, encouraging them often to trust Jesus, and asking with each lesson what God revealed about Himself in the passages.  The second I emphasized in the way I taught the lessons. 

Years ago I had taken a teacher training class in which the teacher said, “It’s a sin to bore people with the Word of God.”  I never wanted to be guilty of that particular sin!  I find the Bible so exciting myself that it was easy to teach with enthusiasm, to bring out the emotion of a passage, and to help kids dig deeper for truth. 

Truthfully, sometimes it was tough to teach students who had obviously been up late the night before and were tired and not terribly responsive.  But more often than not, the discussions were AWESOME!

I have loved teaching middle school students and I would have done it whether or not I ever saw any fruit.  But yesterday, on my last day, because we are preparing to move to Florida, the Lord blessed me with a glimpse of the fruit. 

My current students and some former ones who are now in senior high, wrote cards for me.  These are some of the comments that truly blessed my teacher’s heart, made me praise my God, and will be treasured:

·       “(The) Sunday school lessons were so important to me and I really loved how you not only taught us Bible stories, but also how to study the Bible.”

·       “The lessons . . . have really impacted my life personally.”

·       “The teachings have made me closer to God.”

·       “The years (I was in middle school Sunday school) were some of the most spiritually growing years I’ve ever been a part of.”

·       “I have learned so much about the Word of God.”

·       “The questions . . . asked were very challenging and helped me think about the Bible in a new way.”

How wonderfully the Lord worked in the lives of these kids!

Does all this sound SELF centered?  I hope not!  I didn’t write this so that anyone reading it will think that I am great.  I am writing this so that anyone reading it will know how great our God is and how absolutely critical the study of His Word is for us as Christians – all of us – from childhood through adulthood. 

The BEST gift we can give our children – after we have told them how important it is to trust Jesus as Savior - is to help them to know and love God’s Word because it is through the study of the Bible that we understand who God is and how we can live a life that pleases Him.

The Bible is anything but dry and boring!  It is exciting, and challenging, and practical in every way, and it is the means by which we grow as Christians. 

Psalm 115:1 “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness!”

HEY, COME FOR COFFEE!

This morning I had what will probably be our last brunch with the women I have tutored in English over the last three years.  While we were eating, I came up with a variety of topics that would generate conversation among us.  We talked about what they miss most about the countries they call home, and what they like about the US that they might like to take back with them if they could.  We talked about summer plans and what they had been doing since we last met.  But what I most wanted to hear from them was this: How has English tutoring helped you?   

It was so encouraging to hear things like:

·       I’m more confident to speak English with Americans

·       I want to keep on learning so that I get even better at speaking English

But the best comments of ALL were these:

·       Studying ESL made it possible for me to visit an American home for the very first time!

·       Being in your home, I learned about American people and culture.

·       You always cared about us.

I don’t know what my fellow tutors do, but right from the start I wanted to share more than just English with these women.

In the book of 1 Thessalonians in the Bible, chapter 2, the Apostle Paul talks about his love for the Thessalonians and he says this in verse 8:

“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you have become so dear to us.” 

That’s what I wanted for my ESL students.  I wanted to share my knowledge of English, and American customs and culture, but I wanted more than that, I wanted to share myself with them and maybe be able to communicate to them how much God Himself loves them.  And so, I invited them into my home.

Most of the time we met in the public library which sponsors the ESL program and connects volunteer tutors with students desiring to improve their communication in English.  Since our town is in a suburb of New York City we get people from many different nations settling here due to job opportunities in the city.  

In our “official” ESL classes at the library, we read and discussed articles from Easy English News and then began to read a book together called, “Seedfolks”, which generated lots of conversation. I loved meeting with them every week, but my favorite times – and theirs too - happened about every six weeks or so, during the brunches at my home.

It was not difficult to host them.  I set a simple table and they volunteered to bring food!  I made my own contribution of waffles or muffins or a cake and I’d put on the coffee and we’d share food and conversation.  I didn’t teach them grammar (most of them probably know correct English grammar better than I do!), we just talked.

Sometimes I would host them around a holiday, or celebration unique to American culture.  So we met before Christmas and Thanksgiving to talk about traditions; how to make a juicy turkey and what went with it; how to set a Thanksgiving table; what to eat for St. Patrick’s Day; how to celebrate the 4^th of July with its parades, fireworks and barbeques. 

Most of the time they just responded to conversation starters, like:

·       What have you been doing since we met last?

·       How did you meet your husband?

·       What kind of food do you like?

·       How do you celebrate birthdays in your country?

·       Tell me about your children.

·       What was your favorite subject in school?

·       What’s the hardest thing about being a mom?

·       Where did you go on your honeymoon?

·       What is your favorite place to vacation?

It was those times at my home that forged more than tutor/student; student/student relationships.  They became friends – with me and with one another.  So it was that today it was talking about the impact of coming to my home that started the tears flowing.

So, maybe you’re thinking, “how heartwarming”.  I didn't write this to warm your heart!  I have a purpose in sharing it.  Within the next few months I’m moving to Florida.  But YOU, my friends here in northern New Jersey, are probably not!  Women like the ones I tutor undoubtedly live right next door to you, or down the street.  They may be the moms of your kids’ friends, or teammates.  And they are DYING for American friends!   

Maybe you think, well, there are so many people from (fill in the blank with the nationality living in your area) who live here, they can have plenty of friends who speak the same language.  That’s true, and it’s great when they can have friends from their home country, but they don’t just want to befriend the people they can mingle with back home – they want to be friends with Americans too! 

And what about those folks who come here and find few other immigrants from back home?  Where will they find friends?  Whether or not those living here from other countries have people from home to befriend them, they would love it if YOU, my American friends, made a move toward them in friendship.  They would love to be invited to a barbeque for the 4^th, or over for a birthday party, or a holiday celebration. 

And what about us Christians?  As a tutor under the auspices of the library’s ESL program, I didn’t feel it was my place to share about Jesus, but today, since we met in a home and it was my last day as an ESL tutor, I did share about how much Jesus loves them.  I shared that because Jesus lives in me, the love they felt from me was Him, loving them through me.  I don’t know how much of what I said they understood, but I know they knew that I loved them.  And maybe one day, they’ll make the connection that Jesus DID love them through me and they will want to know Him too.

I’m leaving this area, but YOU probably are not.  Let me encourage you to ask the Lord to help you identify one family from some other nation that you can invest yourself in and with whom you can share the love of Jesus for them.

You will NEVER, EVER regret the time invested in the lives of the wonderful people living among us!  You will be blessed far more than you will bless.  

THE STREET LIGHTS ARE ON!

One of the very BEST things about going through stressful times is that they cause me to run to the Lord.  I’ve learned through many challenging times that He is my shelter and the Rock upon which I can stand when the ground is shaking.  Getting ready to sell a house and move to another state hardly compares to some of the difficulties the Lord has brought me through (or some of the truly hard circumstances in which you might find yourself), but I’m still finding it stressful.  So, when I get up way earlier than usual with things swirling around in my mind and keeping me from sleep, you can bet I’m not letting anything else get in the way of my quiet times with Him!

Back when I was a kid playing outside in the summer time, we had a family rule.  We could stay outside until the street lights came on.  Sometimes, if we were in the middle of a neighborhood game of stick ball, or hide and seek, we wouldn’t even notice that the street lights had come on.  That’s when Mom would poke her head out the window and call us by name.  When she called the first time, we heard her of course, but we REALLY wanted to finish the game, so we would pretend like we didn’t.  But the second time she called, with a raised voice, we knew we better drop everything and head for the front door!  Since I learned that lesson when I was a kid, it came a bit easier for me to pay attention when, in reading God’s Word, He did the same thing.  

When the Lord says something to me once, I listen, but when He repeats Himself again, it’s as if Mom has just given us her last call to come in!  When I hear His second call, I’m all ears!  That’s what happened yesterday.

I was reading first in Psalm 33.  Here are some of the things the Lord spoke through David:

·       Rejoice in the Lord, for praise from the upright is beautiful.

·       Praise the Lord with the sound of music, for the word of the Lord is right; all His work is done in truth.

·       He loves righteousness and justice

·       The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord

·       Let all the earth fear the Lord and all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him, for He spoke and it was done.

·       The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; He makes the plans of the people of no effect

·       The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart to all generations

·       Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He has chosen as His own inheritance

·       No king is saved by the multitude of an army, a mighty man is not delivered by great strength; a horse is a vain hope for safety

·       Behold the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His mercy

·       My soul waits for the Lord; He is my help and my shield

·       My heart shall rejoice in Him because I have trust in His holy Name

I can tell you that when I read all those wonderful things about the Lord, I had a bigger picture of Him than I can see with my physical eyes.  The Lord is sovereign over the creation He spoke into being with just the sound of His voice.  The Lord is sovereign over nations and kings.  There is nothing else in which I can put my trust that gives the kind of security and assurance that He gives me.

Reading Psalm 33 was blessing enough, but it was when I read the day’s devotional from Oswald Chambers’, “My Utmost for His Highest”, that God spoke TWICE!  

Chambers said this (words not in italics are mine):

“Put God First”

Put trust in God first.  Our Lord never put His trust in any person.  Yet He was never suspicious, never bitter, and never lost hope for anyone, because He put His trust in God first. 

If I put my trust in human beings first, the end result will be my despair and hopelessness toward everyone.  I will become bitter because I have insisted that people be what no person can ever be – absolutely perfect and right.  Never trust anything in yourself or in anyone else, except the grace of God.

In life’s current challenge it’s natural to put my hope in realtors and real estate markets and the assurances they give.  But the Lord was reminding me yesterday that they may very well disappoint me, but He never will.  My trust in Him is NEVER misplaced.  I will never be ashamed to have trusted Him.  When I keep my eyes on Him, I won’t be suspicious of people, or circumstances.  I will never become bitter, never lose hope.

If it wasn’t for these daily assurances – God speaking directly to me, twice, and maybe even three, or ten times – I would never be able to face this current challenge with renewed faith. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR FRIENDS

In the middle of a week full of painting walls, sorting through our belongings of 31 years, boxing them, and throwing or giving them away, I threw a birthday party.  My guests were seven of the loveliest women currently in my life.  They are my ESL (English as a Second Language) students. Two are from Korea and five are Japanese. 

I consider myself one of the most blessed women EVER to have known these women.  They are mothers with children ranging from pre-school to middle school, most brand new residents of the United States.  Most are on temporary assignments because their husbands have been transferred here, and all struggle to speak English fluently, although they have all studied it in school. 

They are so uncertain about whether they are being understood and worried that they will not understand when others speak to them.  I’ve told them often how much I admire them for wanting to improve their English, because I’m not so sure I’d be able to do what they have done.  Maybe you’ve heard the joke: “What do you call a person who speaks only one language?  Answer: An American.”  Yep, that’s me!  I’d never survive in another country! These women are so BRAVE!

After having just one and then two Japanese students the last two years I was thrilled this year to have an actual CLASS with a mixed group of Koreans and Japanese.  Initially, I was a little apprehensive about a mixed group.  I wondered how they would work together.  Today’s birthday party, after a year of working together, proved it was a GREAT idea.  

All year long these students worked very hard to take an interest in one another and their respective kids.  They were careful to speak English and not their own more comfortable native language, so that each nationality group could be included in conversation.  When I had to be away for our usual ESL class, they had class anyway, meeting on one another’s homes.  And they became friends!  They offered to help with moving for one of our group who’s going back to Korea this month.  They remembered one another with little gifts.  As we ate our cake and they talked and laughed, I just sat back and watched them, and rejoiced at what the Lord has been doing to bring these women together.

Three years ago I’d never have dreamed I’d even be doing this.  A weekly encounter with a Peruvian woman at a local restaurant was what the Lord used to plant the idea into my mind.  I had no idea just how much of a blessing it would be.  I not only helped these women practice English, I made seven wonderful friends.

I’ve already extended the invitation – we’re moving to Florida!  Come visit!  I hope they will.

TRUSTING GOD IN THE ENDINGS, AND THE BEGINNINGS

So we’ve found a place in Florida where we’d like to settle.  For the last few weeks we’ve been slowly working to sort through the accumulated STUFF we’ve collected over the last 31 years of living in the same house.  I’m ashamed, in view of how much of the world lives, to see how much we have that we don’t even use.  We’ve filled boxes and bags and donated a lot to a local ministry that runs a thrift store.  And we’ve thrown a lot away.  It’s physically exhausting and Jim and I aren’t as young as we used to be.

What’s also exhausting is not sleeping because of all the things going through my mind that I should be entrusting to God.  Too often lately, like this morning, I wake up around 3 AM and then eventually just get up because I can’t sleep.  At 5 AM this morning I was eating toast and having coffee while spending some time with the Lord.  It’s so much more profitable than tossing and turning.

I read Psalm 32 and was reminded of how blessed I am because the Lord has made provision for the forgiveness of my sin through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus.  How can I fret over the details of selling a house when Jesus has taken care of my sin problem?  Those details pale in comparison to the much greater work He has already done in my soul!

And I was encouraged to read what God says in verse 8: “I will instruct You and teach You in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.”  I was inspired by that verse to think of all the ways and times the Lord has instructed me and taught me “IN THE WAY I SHOULD GO”.  He has a WAY in which I should go and He has faithfully led me in that way through all these years that I have walked with Him.  So why am I fretting?  Will He not also do that now?  Of course.  He’s faithful.

On Sunday our pastor said this: “God’s sovereignty is only viewed backward”, meaning that we can best see the involvement of God in our circumstances as we look back – not necessarily while we’re in the midst of something.  So, I also spent some time this morning looking back and thanking the Lord for all the ways I could see His activity in my life in the past.

·       There were ministries in which He invited me to participate here that I’d never have thought of on my own, like neighborhood Bible studies, ESL tutoring, and teaching middle school Sunday school.

·       There was a kidney donation He orchestrated.

·       There were difficult years He brought us through and used to mature our faith.

·       There was the untimely birth of our granddaughter and the privilege He gave us to have her live with us for 12 of her nearly 18 years.  What a blessing that untimely birth turned out to be as God did what He said He would do in Joel 2:25, “I will restore to you the years that the locust have eaten.”  He made up for those difficult years with the blessing of the years with Emma.

·       He turned the difficulty of our son in law losing his job and their house and turned it into a wonderful opportunity for us to all live together – for six years – in harmony!

I finished up my time of praise and thanksgiving for the goodness and sovereignty of God by reading Oswald Chambers’, “My Utmost for His Highest”.  This is what he said:

 “Lord, I will follow You, but. . .” (Luke 9:61)

Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test of your common sense, totally going against it.  What will you do?  Will you hold back? 

Every time you will turn back at the true point of testing, until you are determined to abandon yourself to God in total surrender.

Jesus Christ demands this unrestrained, adventurous spirit in those who have placed their trust in Him.  If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark.  In the spiritual realm, Jesus demands that you risk everything you hold onto or believe through common sense, and leap by faith into what He says.  Once you obey, you will immediately find that what He says is as solidly consistent as common sense.

Trust completely in God, and when He brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it.  We act like pagans in a crisis – only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest his faith in the character of God.

We have a lot to do to get ready to move.  We have to sort through 31 years of accumulated STUFF.  We have to paint and clean, all to get ready to sell a house – all overwhelming and stress producing!  BUT. . . . at the very same time we are on the verge of a GREAT ADVENTURE with the Lord. 

I want to be “daring enough to invest (my) faith in the character of God”!  He will see us through this ending of things. . . . and lead us on to a new beginning!  I can’t wait!