PRELUDE TO THE MIRACULOUS

My brother was scheduled for a very invasive, extensive surgery on April 18.  I really wanted to be there to support him and his family, so Jim and I made arrangements to fly back to the northeast two days before.  The week before, we had scheduled a number of doctor and dentist visits, for routine tests and check-ups, to establish ourselves with local doctors now that we finally have a permanent address in Florida.  That week turned out to be crazy!

First, I had my yearly mammogram.  The results were held up a bit while the doctor’s office waited for the hospital in New Jersey to send the results of previous mammograms for comparison.  Just a day or so before we left, I heard from the doctor.  They saw a density in the mammogram and needed to do an ultrasound.  This is pretty routine for me, so I wasn’t overly concerned, but I had to put it off.  Not a good idea, of course, since I've already had a related cancer, but unavoidable.

Then, just a couple of days before our flight was scheduled, I received word that our eldest daughter Amy was in the hospital with pneumonia – in Arizona.  My heart was torn.  There was a good chance, given my brother’s heart history, that he might not survive the surgery, so I wanted to be there.  And then, there was my eldest, all on her own in a hospital far away.  Both were tugging on my heart strings.  Thankfully, it was near a weekend, so we quickly booked a flight and sent our youngest daughter out to be with her sister.  

Finally, that week I was also experiencing stuffiness in my ears.  I know this is gross, but I have issues with ear wax collecting in a very narrow canal in my right eat.  I didn’t want to have pain flying, so I quickly made an appointment with an ENT to remove the wax.  When he finished, I noticed that the sound in my right ear was muffled and I mentioned it to the doctor.  Since that result was unusual, he did a hearing test and found that I had a hearing loss in my right ear that I hadn’t had before.  He suspected an infection behind the ear drum.  More gross!

The solution was simple.  Take a quick acting dose of prednisone.  As soon as I heard that, I reacted.  I’d had prednisone before for a respiratory infection.  It messed so much with my brain that I made a vow then never to take it again.  So that solution was out.

He suggested aspirin.  But I only have one kidney now and had been advised to stay away from aspirin.

Suggestion number three.  He would refer me to another ENT who would inject a series of shots of a steroid into my ear drum.  Ewwwww!  We were just two days away from flying and I did not want to do that, but I went to the other ENT anyway.

He decided that since this was a bad allergy season, maybe I was just reacting to that.  So he gave me a nasal spray and suggested I come back in two weeks if I wasn’t any better. 

All along the way it seemed, we were encountering road blocks in the way of our going to New York to be with my brother.  Each situation seemed designed to raise my stress level, preoccupy my mind, and keep me in Florida and not New York.

At that moment, I had no idea of the amazing and miraculous thing the Lord was about to do.  All I knew was that nothing was going to keep me from being with my brother and his family during the time of his surgery and recovery.  

More to follow. . . . .

GOD HAS SET THE LONELY IN FAMILIES

When we moved to Florida back in September I knew that one of the things I would miss most would be friends.  In addition to many women at my church with whom I had friendships, prayer partnerships, ministry partnerships, and mentoring/discipling relationships, I had a network of other women I would meet occasionally as well.  

 

I had former Bible Study Fellowship friends who’s friendships went back more than 10 years, friends from other churches we had attended, Japanese and Korean, English as a Second Language students, and a slew of women with whom I attended the same retreat every May – it’s the only time I ever saw them – but I surely considered them friends.  A year or so ago, I even connected with my best friend from high school after 40 plus years.  

All of these rich and varied friendships enabled me to share my faith, and my life, and also enjoy what others shared with me about theirs.  Sometimes there were tears, nearly always there were laughs.  There were lots of coffee and lunch dates, prayer times, times with moms and their kids.  We met in my home, in their homes, at church, at Starbucks, at a diner, in a hospital room, at the library.  It was a hugely satisfying life of friendships.

I knew that when we got here it would take time to make new friends.  I’m not as shy as I used to be, but I’m still kind of quiet, so I expected it would take me longer than it might take more gregarious sorts.  Being well aware, at 69, that I have less life ahead of me than I’ve already lived, I really wanted to speed up the process.  So I talked to the Lord about it.  I’ve done my part by going about the business of being friendly here and have come to know many other women by name, and I’m so thankful for that.  With everyone transplanted from somewhere else in the States, and even in Canada, we are all anxious to meet others with whom we have something in common.

Not only did I want to make friends of all backgrounds, I also especially longed to make one or two Christian friends.  When I meet another Christian woman, we have an instant connection.  I know that if a confidence is shared, I can offer prayer, or it can be offered for me, without awkwardness.  That means a lot when life’s challenges are still happening but you’re not in close proximity to your previous women of faith support system.

So, between talking to the Lord about my desire for friends, and observing myself and others adjusting to living in a new place where we don’t know anyone, but want to, it shouldn’t have been a surprise when the Lord opened a door.  

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was thrilled to discover that there was already a Bible study here at our community.  I’ve attended those sessions when I’ve been able and so a number of the women whose names I now know I met there.  When the leader discovered that I have also led Bible studies, she suggested I start one.  And I did.

We’ve met for two weeks now, just 3 or 4 of us, but it has been a true blessing.  What I discovered is that all of us women are challenged by our moves.  We all miss friends, churches, long time relationships we had elsewhere.  We sometimes wonder whether moving was a good decision.  And we’re lonely for relationships with other women.

There is a verse in the Bible that I’ve always loved.  It’s from Psalm 68, verse 6:

“God sets the lonely in families”

We who belong to Jesus by faith are part of the family of God.  We are not lonely when we find others who belong to Him as well, and we share fellowship together.  In just two weeks, we women have let down our guard, shared the joys and burdens of our hearts, and experienced the sweet fellowship of Jesus as we study His Word and then pray together.  

I’m thanking the Lord for putting us lonely women into His family, for bringing us together, for speeding up the process of making friends, for enabling us to share our faith – in the joys and sorrows of day to day living.  And I’m looking forward to all He has in store for us as we adjust to living in a new place.

My next step, I think, will be to invite my women neighbors to a coffee.  Who knows who else might be longing for the companionship of other women?

THE WAITING IS OVER, PART 1

So, maybe it was just last week, or the end of the one before, that I wrote the blog, Waiting: Sometimes Easy, Sometimes Hard.  I wrote that I was at the stage in life again where we had finally settled in here in our new home, but there was no ministry on the horizon.  Well, that situation has changed.

When we arrived here I discovered that there was a weekly women’s Bible study that met at the clubhouse every week.  I was SO happy!  The first thing I did was contact the woman who leads it so we could chat about our backgrounds, how she started the class, what they’re studying, and all the things I wanted to know before I attended my first class.  I’ve been going now for several weeks and have met some lovely women in the process.

Last week the leader called me and asked if she could come over for some fellowship.  I was thrilled!  Someone was actually asking to be my friend!  (A direct answer to another of my prayers, by the way!)  We had a lovely chat during which she asked me why I didn’t consider starting my own class.  I was thinking that it could happen one day, but since I don’t really know very many people yet, I wasn't thinking NOW.

Then she suggested that I might want to consider making myself available for a study during the next two weeks while she took a break.  She even sent out an e mail to the women who attend her class telling them I was available.  I had a number of women interested and we finally settled on a day and time which was convenient for some of them to attend.  

I just finished preparing the lesson for our study and am beside myself with excitement!  I LOVE teaching God’s Word and watching it, and Him, come alive in the hearts and minds of those who study.  And I LOVE watching God do the work of changing lives as a result.  Tuesday can’t come soon enough!

I can almost “hear” the Lord saying, “If I can do THIS, Dot, you can trust me for all the other things and people you have on your heart.”   

I believe, Lord.  Help my unbelief.

UNMASKED

Jim and I read a book recently entitled, A Scandalous Freedom by Steve Brown.  There are some interesting chapter headings, like: “The Gods We Worship. . and the God Who Sets Us Free”; “The Masks We Wear. . . and the Authenticity That Sets Us Free”.  I was especially struck by the latter.  

I often wear a mask. I hide things about myself because I worry that if my Christian brothers and sisters knew those things about me, they’d be horrified.  For example, I drink wine.  There, it’s out there.  I know all the usual arguments against Christians drinking wine, but I do it.  I never get drunk (I know what God says about drunkenness), but I like a glass of wine with dinner.  You have no idea how exhausting it is to keep that from others.  Whew!  It's not a secret anymore! You just might be wearing a mask yourself.

There’s something else I was being less than authentic about and preferring to hide.  When I wrote the blog, Waiting: Sometimes Easy, Sometimes Hard, I wasn’t entirely truthful.  As a Christian and someone who teaches the Bible, I wanted to end that blog on an up note, so I quoted some verses from Psalm 43, because I wanted to be “spiritual” like David who ended even his most gloomy, depressed, and hopeless sounding psalms with a word of praise.  I did it for the sake of my readers because I felt it was “expected”.  But truthfully, I wasn’t feeling it.

In spite of that, I determined that if I woke during the night worrying about my loved one, I was going to meditate on and pray through the words of the psalm:

Hope in God;

For I shall yet praise Him,

The help of my countenance and my God.”

Well, I did wake up.  I did try to pray, to focus my mind on God Himself, to remember the words of the psalmist: to hope, to believe that I will yet praise God, and that He would be the uplifter of my countenance.  You know what, I finally had to be honest with the Lord.  While I know He COULD answer my prayers for my loved one (MY prayers, mind you), I didn’t believe that He actually WOULD.  

If the wine drinking didn’t do it for you, this might be the time some of you might be shocked, or disappointed.  Maybe this knocks me down a few pegs on the pedestal you might have me on (I shouldn’t have been there anyway!).  Regardless of what you think, that is exactly how I felt.

I know why too.  I’ve been here before, years ago, as I mentioned in the blog.  I prayed and prayed through more than five long years, in an extremely scary situation, for the Lord to intervene in someone’s life. As I look back, I can see His hand of protection, His mercy and grace in that one’s life.  But there is so much longing in me for them to come to faith, to know the blessedness of knowing the Lord personally, to use all the gifts God has given them to serve Him and bless others.  I’ve waited a long time, yet it hasn’t happened.  Oh, it may still happen, I know, but waiting for it is so hard.

This time around, I’m praying the same prayers, wanting to see the activity of the Lord, and just seeing things get worse.  Lying awake that night I had to confess what the man who came to Jesus for the healing of his son confessed: “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!”  

I had to say, “I’m so sorry, Lord, for doubting You, but I’ve been here before.  I want so much for this one to come to You, to be on the path that leads to life, but You didn’t answer that prayer the last time I prayed it, and I’m not sure You’ll do it now.”  Perhaps some of you might think talking to God in this way is scandalous.  I think it was just truthful, and doesn’t the Lord know my heart anyway?

Do you know what happened?  Almost instantaneously, a HUGE weight was lifted from my shoulders that night.  It was as if the Lord said, “I know.  I know your fear.  I know your longing.  I know your doubt.  And it’s okay.  I still love you.”  

I was good with that. God still loves me - no matter how much I screw up, no matter that I have doubts, no matter that I sometimes question God’s ways, He still loves me.  How enormously freeing!  

And do you know what?  Today a few things have happened to given me reason to praise Him.  He is lifting up my countenance because things are happening in hearts and lives that are evidence of His work in answer to my prayers for the good of my loved one.  The Lord knows when we need that kind of encouragement and is kind and gracious to give it.

Okay, I’ve taken off two of my masks.  Now it’s your turn.