GOD HAS SET THE LONELY IN FAMILIES

When we moved to Florida back in September I knew that one of the things I would miss most would be friends.  In addition to many women at my church with whom I had friendships, prayer partnerships, ministry partnerships, and mentoring/discipling relationships, I had a network of other women I would meet occasionally as well.  

 

I had former Bible Study Fellowship friends who’s friendships went back more than 10 years, friends from other churches we had attended, Japanese and Korean, English as a Second Language students, and a slew of women with whom I attended the same retreat every May – it’s the only time I ever saw them – but I surely considered them friends.  A year or so ago, I even connected with my best friend from high school after 40 plus years.  

All of these rich and varied friendships enabled me to share my faith, and my life, and also enjoy what others shared with me about theirs.  Sometimes there were tears, nearly always there were laughs.  There were lots of coffee and lunch dates, prayer times, times with moms and their kids.  We met in my home, in their homes, at church, at Starbucks, at a diner, in a hospital room, at the library.  It was a hugely satisfying life of friendships.

I knew that when we got here it would take time to make new friends.  I’m not as shy as I used to be, but I’m still kind of quiet, so I expected it would take me longer than it might take more gregarious sorts.  Being well aware, at 69, that I have less life ahead of me than I’ve already lived, I really wanted to speed up the process.  So I talked to the Lord about it.  I’ve done my part by going about the business of being friendly here and have come to know many other women by name, and I’m so thankful for that.  With everyone transplanted from somewhere else in the States, and even in Canada, we are all anxious to meet others with whom we have something in common.

Not only did I want to make friends of all backgrounds, I also especially longed to make one or two Christian friends.  When I meet another Christian woman, we have an instant connection.  I know that if a confidence is shared, I can offer prayer, or it can be offered for me, without awkwardness.  That means a lot when life’s challenges are still happening but you’re not in close proximity to your previous women of faith support system.

So, between talking to the Lord about my desire for friends, and observing myself and others adjusting to living in a new place where we don’t know anyone, but want to, it shouldn’t have been a surprise when the Lord opened a door.  

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was thrilled to discover that there was already a Bible study here at our community.  I’ve attended those sessions when I’ve been able and so a number of the women whose names I now know I met there.  When the leader discovered that I have also led Bible studies, she suggested I start one.  And I did.

We’ve met for two weeks now, just 3 or 4 of us, but it has been a true blessing.  What I discovered is that all of us women are challenged by our moves.  We all miss friends, churches, long time relationships we had elsewhere.  We sometimes wonder whether moving was a good decision.  And we’re lonely for relationships with other women.

There is a verse in the Bible that I’ve always loved.  It’s from Psalm 68, verse 6:

“God sets the lonely in families”

We who belong to Jesus by faith are part of the family of God.  We are not lonely when we find others who belong to Him as well, and we share fellowship together.  In just two weeks, we women have let down our guard, shared the joys and burdens of our hearts, and experienced the sweet fellowship of Jesus as we study His Word and then pray together.  

I’m thanking the Lord for putting us lonely women into His family, for bringing us together, for speeding up the process of making friends, for enabling us to share our faith – in the joys and sorrows of day to day living.  And I’m looking forward to all He has in store for us as we adjust to living in a new place.

My next step, I think, will be to invite my women neighbors to a coffee.  Who knows who else might be longing for the companionship of other women?