Friday, May 10, 2013

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY


When Jim and I get up in the morning the first thing we do is grab a cup of coffee and watch a little news.  Our choice of news stations varies with the frequency of commercials, so we switch around a lot. I noticed this week, with Mother’s Day approaching, that CBS was doing a series of stories focused on famous mothers and their daughters.  Yesterday it was a former Miss America and this morning it was a well-known politician. 

I love the whole idea of Mother’s Day, a special day set aside to honor mothers.  When I was a kid we even wore carnations on that day – white if your mom was no longer with you, and pink if she was.  We honored my mom with breakfast in bed, or dinner out, sometimes both.  We bought azaleas for the yard, flowers for a vase, candy for her sweet tooth.  This Sunday all over the states, kids, no matter what age, will honor their moms in some way that shows their love and appreciation.

I was really not all that interested though in celebrity moms and their children.  I’m sure those moms had an impact on their children, the way every mom does.  In the society in which I live those celebrity moms already have what many ordinary moms don’t.  They’re on TV for goodness sake.  People know them, they admire them, and that is a reward many “ordinary” moms will never know.  I’m not especially interested in them and the impact they had on their high achieving daughters.

Nope.  The moms I admire would not fall into the category of “celebrity” as our society values the word.

Let me tell you about some of them.

There is my friend Sue who has two grown sons, her only children.  One has severe cerebral palsy and has been near death more than once.  Sue regularly visits this son who is no longer able to live at home.  He cannot speak to her but they communicate perfectly in the way mothers and children do. Her other son, still living with her, has schizophrenia.  She describes him as “a handful”. 

When I saw Sue she often talked about her boys, but I knew her for a very long time before I ever knew about their special needs because she never complained about them.  On the contrary, she was always so grateful to God for those sons and for the life she lives as their mom.  She recognizes openly the hand of God in helping her be the best mom she can be to them.

If Sue ever had a desire for a career, dreams about life after she’d raised her children, a desire to travel or take classes, she long ago set them aside.  She is a mom whose children may not be able to express appreciation to her this Mother’s Day.  Sue is no celebrity. She wasn’t scheduled for a TV slot on CBS, but she’s a mom who is  honored in the eyes of her friends, and whose sacrifice is certainly noted by God.

Then there is my friend Pam.  Pam is the mother of triplet boys, all young adults, all with autism.  I always said when I thought of Pam that the Lord knew the exact kind of mom who could handle multiple children and He saved them for them.  Pam is that kind of mom.  She’s a patient, strong, determined, and very able advocate, as well as loving mom, to those boys.  I never quite knew how she managed!

Pam has a master’s degree and a gift for teaching and she used it in volunteer capacities as well as she could, but her primary role was to be mother to those boys, and it was a full time job!

Last year Pam was diagnosed with advanced cancer.  The last time I visited, near the end of a second round of chemo, I was amazed at her strength – not only physical, but emotional and spiritual.  She spent some time talking about the ordeal she’d been through and then she talked about her boys.  She was getting a lot of help with meals and help at home but she was also trying to make life as normal as possible for them.  She was still trying to pick them up from school, get them to bowling and do all the things she did before she got sick.  Not understanding fully the severity of their mom’s illness they were mostly concerned about how it would affect them.  Pretty normal for kids their age!

Pam didn’t make it on TV this week either.  Her story will probably never make her a celebrity in the eyes of the world, but in my eyes, and in the eyes of God, Pam is a very special mom who is fulfilling her role as mother to those boys just as God intended. 

Then there is my other friend, whom I’ll call Liz.  Liz is a dynamo of a lady, bright, articulate, well-educated and full of energy.  For years she has worked at different paying jobs, while serving in a number of other time consuming volunteer positions in her free time.  She has raised a very bright, polite, gentle, quiet, and absolutely delightful son.

With her son in high school, the world could be Liz’s oyster.  Her considerable intelligence, communication skill, and take charge personality could open doors of opportunity for her to rise to the top of any company for which she might work.  But that’s not what she’s doing.

What she has chosen to do at this time in her life is to care for her ailing parents.  She cared for her dad until his death from Alzheimers and is now taking care of her mom who suffers from a variety of age related diseases.  It’s a full time job that doesn’t leave a lot of time for leisure activity, or the pursuit of a paying job, or even something as simple as time alone. 

What I love about her is that she just does it - daily, faithfully, consistently – seeing the task not as a sprint, but as a marathon, doing what needs doing, pacing herself to see it through to the end.  Not surprisingly, Liz didn’t make it on TV this week either.

I’m going to venture a guess that the majority of you reading this are not a former Miss America, or a well-known politician, or the daughter of one.  Maybe you are “just” the mom of three kids under 5.  Or the mother of a disabled child you’ll care for your entire life.  Or the single mom struggling to make ends meet and be the best mom you can.  Or the adult mother and daughter now caring for your ailing parents as well as your children.  Or the mother of teens, working full time and barely keeping up with all their activities when you are finally home. 

Maybe you were thinking the same thing I was when I saw those celebrity moms: 

“Why don’t they ever show ordinary moms doing ordinary and sometimes extraordinary things – faithfully, lovingly, consistently – over the long haul?” 

Well, you’re a celebrity in my book!  And you matter to God.  The value of what you do isn’t measured by your level of success and celebrity in the eyes of the world.  It’s measured by your faithfulness to live the life God has given you, in the place where He has put you, serving the ones He has given you. 

Whether or not anyone else takes note of you this Sunday, or honors you in a way you might long for, the Lord, the One who sees, takes note Mom.     

Blessings on all of you moms this Mother’s Day. 

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