In Memory of the BEST Mother in Law

Yesterday we were out looking at houses with our daughter and son in law.  It was a very busy morning.  After we returned, we sat in their dining room throwing around the pros and cons of the places we’d seen when our daughter announced, “Aunt Carol has been trying to reach you and wants you to call.”  We suspected the news wasn’t good.  

For quite a few years Jim’s mom had been living with Jim’s brother Marty and his wife Carol in California.  His dad had died back in 1999 and for a while Mom lived by herself until she needed the closer care of family and so went to live with Marty.  Over time, her health began to decline.  She had difficulty walking and ultimately her memory was also failing.  Then, a few months ago, Mom was placed on hospice care, and most recently on oxygen day and night.  Carol’s call yesterday was to tell us that Mom passed away early yesterday morning.  Not unexpected, but difficult news to hear.

I don't know what it's like in other countries, but here in the US mothers in law get a bad rap.  Jokes about them abound!  Along with everyone else, I love the jokes about them that make us all laugh.  Sadly, I’ve spoken with many women over the years whose mothers in law lived up to those jokes.  When they told their stories, I generally kept quiet so as not to make them feel bad, because my mother in law was not like that, ever.   

First of all, Mom was full of fun, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye and a ready laugh.  She was always ready for a party! She was also unfailingly kind, supportive and encouraging to me personally.  She repeatedly affirmed me as a good mom and wife.  She was always ready to babysit for our girls and loved doing it.  If she gave advice, which was rare, she managed to do it in a way that made me feel cared for and not criticized.  

The best part for me was that Mom and I shared a common faith in Jesus, although our religious backgrounds were different, her's Catholic, mine Protestant.  We didn’t always use the same faith language in talking about the things that were dearest to our hearts, but each knew what the other meant.  We had conversations about faith in Jesus, how to live faith out in the here and now, and we reflected together about heaven.  We prayed together.  Mom was a faithful church going person, so when she was visiting us, we made sure we got her to church.

 

Mom’s life was not always easy, and in that way she was a model to me of a faithful wife and devoted mother, in hard times as well as in good ones.  I’m thankful for who she was, who she was to me, and for the legacy of faithfulness she left.  I’m thankful to the Lord that she lived 94 years and that He spared her of the ravages and pain of diseases that might have taken her life bit by bit in ways we could not have borne.  

Years ago Mom asked me to remember to pray for her after her death, but I know I don’t need to do that.  Because I am confident that Mom's faith was in Jesus, I know she is now in heaven, enjoying His presence, reunited with believers in Jesus who had gone before her, smiling her mischievous smile and enjoying the blessedness of finally being home.   

Love you Mom.

Catherine Sherry Elwood 1921 -2016