BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

I graduated high school in 1965 (can it really be 50 years ago???!!!).  I loved the music of that era.  If you grew up in the same time period and lived here in New Jersey, you may have spent summer evenings with your friends listening to Cousin Brucie's picks and dancing, or talking about boys, make up, hair or clothes, just as I did.  

The music of my era formed the acoustic backdrop for all of my significant high school memories, not just when I was hanging out with friends, but even at school.  I’m pretty sure this isn’t done today, but back then, after everyone had time to eat lunch (which we all did at the same time), the gym was open for dancing, and dance we did! 

Let me paint a picture.  As you came down the narrow stairs leading down to the gym from the floor above, what you noticed first was the great divide, a huge swathe of empty space like the parted Red Sea in the center of the gym, with boys standing along one wall and girls, all the way across the gym against the other.  Only during a slow dance was the divide breached, and only for the length of a song.  

My favorite memory of those lunch times is of doing what we called, “Emerson fast dancing”, but which a previous generation might have called the lindy.  My favorite partner for fast dancing was my friend Paula who always took the lead.  She was a natural at it - confident, with fluid steps, so easy to follow – and I loved dancing with her.  Along with the pony, the cha cha, and a bunch of other dances I can’t remember, dancing together to the songs of our day was our favorite lunchtime activity! 

With just a few weeks till we move, I’ve filled my calendar with dates.  I have breakfasts, lunches and coffees scheduled with friends so that we can say our goodbyes before we go.  All day today one of those lunch time melodies we danced to at Emerson high school in the 60s has been going through my head.  It’s the chorus to Neil Sedaka’s, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do:

“They say that breaking up is hard to do,

Now I know, I know that it’s true.

Don’t say that this is the end,

Instead of breaking up, I wish that we were making up again.”

Neil was speaking of the break-up of teenage romances of course, not saying goodbye to friends before a move, but the cry of his heart is the same as mine – breaking up IS hard to do!

I felt it last night when we arrived home after having dinner out with neighbors.  These folks we’ve shared the same suburban block with for the last 30 years wanted to treat us to dinner as their way of saying goodbye.  At the end of the night when we hugged and kissed and separated to go into our houses, I was suddenly hit with a great sadness.  Why did we not spend more time with them?  Why didn’t we talk about the things that were important to us long before this?  

This morning I had a goodbye breakfast with a friend I’ve known for less time but in a much more personal way.  Annissa and I became friends serving the Lord together in Bible Study Fellowship.  That fellowship, which included praying together every week, drove the roots of friendship deep! Not having seen one another in a while, we spent a lot of time catching up.  But then it was time to say goodbye to her too.  Oh Neil, you are SO right!

It’s hard to say goodbye, to “break up” with so many who mean so much to me. But at the same time, I’m really grateful to the Lord for the people with which He’s blessed my life in my years here in Northern New Jersey.  I’m thankful for family; former co-workers; ministry partners; middle school and high school kids; women from all walks of life with whom I’ve studied, counseled, and prayed; neighbors; friends of my girls; hospice patients; ESL students; doctors; dentists; and my kidney buddy Jennifer – each one having an impact on my life in one way or another.  What a blessed woman I’ve been!

If you are among these special people, then thank you.  Thank you for sharing your life, your time, your gifts, your sense of humor, meals, prayers, encouragement, tears, laughs, fill in the blanks. . . . with me.  The Lord has made my life so much richer because of YOU!  

Breaking up IS hard to do – but it’s also a good time to let the people I love, the people God used to bless me – know just how much they mean to me.  I’m grateful for every single one of you!

Philippians 1:3

I thank my God every time I remember you.