THE LOVE OF JESUS SHED ABROAD

A number of years ago when I was training to become a Bible Study Fellowship teaching leader I was told that my aim would be to run a tight ship and at the same time, be a tender shepherd to the leaders and women and children who attended our class.  I knew immediately, because I was totally at home with rules and regulations, that I would have no trouble running a tight ship.  Being a tender shepherd, on the other hand, I knew would be a massive challenge. 

The Lord made me an introvert, quiet, shy, reserved, happy keeping my own company.  I have never really been a people person.  When I was growing up, if I had a choice between being with people, or reading a good book, I’d choose the book every time!  When I reached adulthood I would tell people that I would rather give a lecture to a room full of people than have lunch with 4 people I didn’t know.  When it came to people, I always felt love “challenged”. 

So, it did not completely surprise me when after dinner one night during that training week, we were each given a Bible verse, chosen especially for us by the director of BSF, that mine “happened” to be this prayer of the Apostle Paul’s for his Ephesian readers:

“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”   Ephesians 3:16-19

I knew that the difficulty I had in loving others was rooted in my lack of understanding of God’s love for me.  By faith, I knew that the Lord loved me.  There was plenty of evidence of that in God’s Word – beginning with the death of Jesus on my behalf, but in reality, I didn’t see any reason for Him to love ME.  Paul’s prayer was one I wanted the Lord to answer for me as well.  Over the next four years as I served as a teaching leader, the Lord would do exactly that.

Week one of writing weekly lectures and planning weekly training sessions for leaders, plus all the other administrative responsibilities of being a teaching leader, was just the beginning of my realization of just how much out of my depth I was!  The task was WAY too big for me!  Daily, I found myself on my knees crying out to the Lord, acknowledging that I could not do what He had asked me to do unless He helped me every step of the way.  What I wanted was to “feel” better immediately.  What I found myself doing more and more over time was simply worshipping Him.  It was in that way that I began to experience His power, wisdom and love, and begin to grasp, as I focused on HIM, and not my own inadequacy, just how much Jesus loved ME!  I did run a tight ship (as any of the leaders would have told you!), but during those years of waiting on the Lord for what I needed, I was taught by the Holy Spirit Himself to be a worshipper of the Lord in a way I had never known before. 

Miraculously, the more I understood how much Jesus loves me, the more I began to see others the way Jesus saw them.  He loved them too and because His love abided in me, I could love them too.

This week my stint as an English tutor, with the English as a Second Language program offered by our town library, began again.  This year I have 4 Asian ladies. One is continuing on from last year, but the others are new to ESL and very new to the U.S.  These lovely young women really want to become fluent in English, to help their children with their homework and to be able to navigate the phone, shopping, and relating to Americans in their everyday lives.  

Yes, I will be their English tutor, but in MY heart and mind, my role is so much bigger.  I find myself also wanting to be a friend and encourager.  I admire them for accepting the challenge, nearly always due to a husband’s job change, of moving to a country where you do not speak the language.  I don’t know if I could do it!  What an opportunity it affords me for demonstrating the love of Jesus to them, even if I never get to talk to them about Him.  Where did this new love for strangers come from?  Well, from the Lord, of course, answering my prayer to know His love and then giving that out to others.

In my volunteer role with hospice I also received a new assignment this week.  What a blessing to visit this man and his wife, to simply be a companion and give comfort for the brief time I am there.  And then, to have the added blessing of sharing some moments of talking about the Lord with their home care aide, a lovely Christian woman from Kenya.  A few years ago I never would have dreamed I would be comfortable walking into the home of seriously ill people to bring some companionship.  Where did this new ability and love for the dying come from?  I guess you know by now – from Jesus – who shed His love abroad in MY heart through His Holy Spirit.

In thinking back over the last 10 years I realize that I’m not the person I was back then.  The years of being a BSF teaching leader were stressful and anxiety filled, but how faithful the Lord has been to me to make those verses from Ephesians 3 a reality in my heart.  I’m grateful to have had experiences that were so outside my ability and comfort zone that I had to rely totally on the Lord.  In the process, I have learned so much more about just how high, and wide, and deep, and broad the love of Jesus is and in so doing, I’m now able to demonstrate His love to the others He brings across my path.