Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young and Ringing Phones

Jim and I went out to dinner tonight.  About half way through the meal the familiar strains of Crosby, Still, Nash and Young start going through my mind:  “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”  I probably went for years without the words to this song going through my mind – until the age of the cell phone.  Now they come into my mind all the time.  Like tonight at dinner. . . .

Jim and I are quietly chatting and eating our meal when a phone rings.  For a minute it only registers as incongruous.  My mind asks itself: Why is a phone ringing in a crowded restaurant dining room?  And then I remember, it’s the age of the cell phone. 

But the phone didn’t just ring.  The person at the next table, who was sharing her dinner with two children and an older lady I assumed was her mother, answered.  For some reason the person on the other end of her phone didn’t answer back right away, so the lady felt she had to ask three times, “Who is this?”, before hanging up.  I could feel myself becoming crazed!  It wasn’t long after that another lady at a table nearby also took a phone call, and left her husband to eat his dinner in silence while she chatted away.  All of a sudden, there they were again, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, with their familiar strains of: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

Before cell phones, we would have thought it BEYOND rude to ignore the person on the other side of the table at dinner so that we could talk to someone not even in the same room, sometimes even when they refused to answer back!  We would just have loved the one we were with!  Do you know what it says to me when a person interrupts their time with me to respond to a ringing phone?  It says: “Sorry, but this call is SO much more important than YOU.  I have to take it.”

I often meet people for some informal counseling.  Usually these meetings last for an hour or an hour and a half.  Do you know what I do with my phone?  I shut it off, or I leave it in the car.  If I have to take it with me, I keep it on vibrate and only CHECK the name of the caller if I have to do so.  If I suspect it’s not important I silence it.

When you’re with ME, I want to convey that you are the most important person in my life at that moment.  So, like Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, I’m going to choose to love the one I’m WITH and not the one on the other end of the phone.

When I’m with YOU, I want to feel that I have YOUR full attention.  I want to feel that I’m the most important person in your life at that moment and your time with me has value.

So, the next time I meet with you, you can take that call, but it had better be IMPORTANT, or I just might grab your phone from your hand and submerge it in the nearest liquid available.  You’ve been warned!  :)

REMEMBERING DAD ON FATHER'S DAY '14

My dad died back in 2000.  It has been a long time without him.  As I was sitting in church this morning, listening to several men talk about their dads, I thought about mine.  I feel sad when I think about my dad because it seemed he spent so much of his life either unhappy or angry.  However, I do have some great memories that make him special to me.

When I was in late elementary school, Friday nights were spent with my dad.  We’d have dinner at home and then we’d do something, just us two.  Sometimes we’d go to a movie.  I clearly remember the time I convinced him to take me to see a movie called, “Adam and Eve”, a story right from the pages of the Bible!  The actors were wearing full length body stockings designed to make them look as if they weren’t wearing any clothing.  For years my dad talked about how embarrassed he was to be seeing that movie with his daughter!  As I got older and he told that story, I just thought it was funny!  We always finished up the night at 2 Guys in North Bergen where he’d treat me to at least one 45 RPM record.  (Okay, now I’m dating myself!  Anyone younger than 60 probably won’t know what I’m talking about!).  I loved those nights out with Dad.  They lasted until I reached an age when I didn’t want him to hold my hand anymore.  He was devastated.  I was your typical 14 year old!

Occasionally, we’d travel with the family to visit my mom’s sister Joan who owned an inn in Rehoboth Beach, DE.  Because we were both introverts, we could only take so much visiting, so when we had our chance, we’d sneak off to the boardwalk for some Thrasher’s Fries, and we’d take a long walk.  One of the things I loved about my dad is that because we were both quiet, we didn’t have to talk on these walks.  We simply walked and enjoyed one another’s company.

My dad had a pet name for me, Dossy.  No one else has ever called me by that name, and I’m glad.  It’s dumb. . . but most of all, it was my Dad’s name for me, and his alone. 

My dad frequently told me I was beautiful.  He was prejudiced, and off the mark, but it was kind of him to say so.

It was my dad who gave me such a clear sense that it was okay to be me.  Yes, I was quiet, but so was he.  It’s not easy being quiet in a world where extroverts dominate, believe you me, so Dad’s loving affirmation of me, just the way I was, was probably the most loving thing he did for me.

I was retelling my spiritual journey to someone the other day when I remembered, it was Dad who encouraged me in that.  He and Mom had sent my brother and me to a church just a few doors from our house when I was somewhere between 2^nd and 6^th grade.  They stayed home.  Before that time, we had never attended church. 

Eventually, we moved away from that church, and when I was in middle school, I began to ask my parents to take us to church.  So began the quest, with my Dad, to find a local church.  I remember trying several churches of different Protestant denominations, before we settled on one just across Washington St. Park in lower Union City, New Jersey.  We were both moved by the passionate heart for Jesus that the young pastor of that church had.  From that time on, we went to church as a family and my parents continued to attend churches even after they moved to Florida without us.

I wish I could say that my dad was a believer in Jesus, but I don’t know for sure. He could be moved to tears by a sermon.  He would think about God and read his Bible, but mostly only when he was in ill health, which was on and off for the last 20 or so years of his life.  I know I never saw him experience the joy of the Lord in all his life, however, I still hope he is one of those who greet me when I get to my heavenly home.

On this Father’s Day, I miss him and the connection we always had because we were so much alike.  Thank you Dad for being my dad.

EXPANDING THE KINGDOM THROUGH E MAIL ONE PERSON AT A TIME

When Jim and I were in Florida back in April I had a phone call from someone whose name I didn’t recognize.  He was from an organization which sprung out of Campus Crusade for Christ and which endeavors to share the gospel all over the world.  I had completely forgotten that about 2 years ago now I had expressed an interest in volunteering.  And then, life intruded, as it has a way of doing.  Now, however, his call reactivated my interest.  Within a couple of days I had filled out the application form, including references, and sent it in.  I’m into my fifth week of hands on training and I am in awe of what the Lord is up to in this world in which we live! 

Each day an e mail comes into my inbox from some far flung corner of the world from an individual who has logged onto our website. There they can find lots of information about the gospel of Jesus Christ, including how to have a personal relationship with Him, plus discipleship information for new believers.  When they respond with a decision, or even just interest, or they have a specific prayer request, their e mails come to us volunteers and we respond.

In these few short weeks I have had about 30 opportunities to share the gospel, and it has been AWESOME!  All over the world there are people who are hungry for Jesus and asking for help to know Him – even in places where doing so might have dire consequences for them. I have been asked to pray for them to resist temptation, for family members to come to faith, for help in growing to know Jesus and walk with Him. And I have been asked questions about heaven and how to recognize the voice of God and the work of the Holy Spirit in someone’s life.  This is amazing, satisfying, kingdom expanding, God glorifying work. 

If you have ever become discouraged about the spiritual state of the world, let me tell you, the Lord is at work, powerfully, in ways we cannot yet see. 

If you’d like to know more, contact me via Facebook.