UNEXPECTED WEDDING JOY!

Yesterday we attended the wedding of my granddaughter Emma’s dad.  It was a beautiful day of celebration – and reunion – with so many of his family members we had not seen in many years.  And I was marveling over the fact that we were all there, because nearly 16 years ago, we didn’t know what the future held, but it didn’t look as if that would be it!

At that time, when our daughter Becky was just 16 years old, at a family reunion we were having in Massachusetts, she announced to us all that she was pregnant.  I don’t think any of us will forget that weekend!  We began with excitement, anticipating a weekend of fun, and ended in utter disbelief and shock.

So began a long, emotional stretch of life fraught with conflict – first, over the question of whether or not Emma should be born.  For us, there was no other thought than that Becky would have her child and my husband and I would do all we could to support her.  But not everyone felt that way.  The other family thought the pregnancy should be terminated.

We tried to counsel Becky about whether or not to keep her baby or put the baby up for adoption by raising questions for her to consider, such as:  What if her dad isn’t involved at all?  What if you never get married because a new man may not want to raise another man's child?  What if you can’t finish school? Do you still want to keep your baby?

In the end, Becky did the choosing.  Emma was born, a beautiful, chunky little baby with beautiful dark hair, and she moved into the spare bedroom in our home that had been decorated in Noah’s ark designs.  And we rejoiced.  And Emma’s dad, who had such a hard time accepting that he was a dad, went off to school in the southern part of our state.

Becky wanted him involved in Emma’s life, but she had to fight constantly to get him to see it that way, and we wondered often whether it was worth the effort and stress.  We thought long and hard about how not having a dad involved in her life would affect Emma, and I confess there were times when we thought Emma would be better off without him.  But her dad surprised us all.  After 2 years of living away he came home to finish his schooling at a near-by college because he did want to be involved in Emma’s life. So, Becky finished her last year of high school, started college herself and Emma’s dad got to know his daughter.

The years ahead weren’t easy.  There were so many arguments between Becky and Emma’s dad:  over support - financial, emotional and physical; over important issues they saw so differently (like church involvement or no church involvement); over how a new girlfriend of his could accept or not accept his having a daughter, and the fall out of all that conflict caused pain and stress for Emma and our daughter.

So, when yesterday we were privileged to be guests at his wedding, I couldn’t help but reflect on the last 16 years and thank God that things turned out so well, so unexpectedly well. 

There they were, Emma’s dad and his new bride, a lovely woman, perfect for him and so good to Emma.  Emma, looking right into her dad’s eyes and reading something so beautifully appropriate, which she chose herself in celebration of his marriage, and I marveled over their relationship.

I watched Emma dance with her Mom, take silly photos, play with her nephews and nieces, and just generally have fun, and I was so thankful.

I saw our respective families, all part of that emotionally awful time, enjoying the same wedding celebration – together – and acknowledging the blessing Emma is to us all.  Were they thinking the same things I was thinking?  What if Becky had not kept Emma and the lovely young woman she has grown up to be had not been a part of all our lives?  What a terrible loss that would have been!

I was reading Psalm 25 recently, thinking about verse 3, which says:

“No one whose hope is in You (Lord) will ever be put to shame.”

I think yesterday helped me understand.  Sixteen years ago, out of a conviction that all human life is sacred because each one is made in the image of God, we encouraged Becky to keep her child.  We counseled her with our questions to help her decide whether or not to put her up for adoption, but we strongly felt that we could not encourage her to end the child’s life.  And she agreed.

There were some who thought we were all crazy to encourage a 16 year old in her desire to have and keep her baby, like the first obstetrician we went to who was incredulous that Becky intended to see the pregnancy through.  And classmates of hers.  And some family members. 

As a family, with Becky making her choice and us supporting that choice, we did what we felt was right and welcomed her child into our lives, putting our hope in the Lord for the future – and we have never ONCE been put to shame over it.  Our hope in Him was blessed by Him. 

We have always been so proud of Becky for making her choice.  And we have been abundantly blessed, not only because we have Emma, and she is a HUGE blessing indeed – but also because of what we observed yesterday.  Joy.  The joy of a young man who reluctantly at first embraced the result of some choices of his own – and who now has a relationship with his lovely daughter he would not have had otherwise.

And the joy of two families celebrating a wedding – and a much loved daughter and granddaughter’s part in bringing two families together.

And I see the hand of God in it all.