If you have
read my blog entitled, “Indeed, the Lord
still speaks. .”, then you know that I am in the process of being evaluated
to donate a kidney to Jennifer, a friend and sister in Christ from my
church. I spent the day yesterday at
Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City for a second round of tests and
consultations with physicians.
I was
pretty amazed and also overjoyed that one of the doctors said I was in
excellent health for someone my age. From
what he said, the final decision about whether or not I will be approved as a
donor will be decided by a kidney donor panel which reviews all donors and
their test results before together making their final decision. I may have to have one more kidney function
test before we receive a decision.
As I said in
the blog mentioned above, Jennifer and I desire more than anything that the
Lord be honored, exalted, and glorified in the entire process, regardless of
whether the result will be my giving and her receiving a kidney.
In the dark
of night when my nightly hot flash catapults me into complete wakefulness, I think. Sometimes I write blogs in my head. Sometimes I consider logistical solutions for
things I’m doing – like do I ask the discussion questions in this part of my
lesson, or that – for my Sunday school class or the ladies Bible class I teach.
Recently I’ve thought a lot about what I’m
going to say to people who ask me why I want to donate a kidney to Jennifer,
and say it in a way that will magnify the Lord and not me. Several times yesterday I had that
opportunity.
I always
explain how I found out about being a live kidney donor through a post Jennifer
had on her Facebook page. It kind of
blows minds when they hear of this social media vehicle used in that way. I’m sure the guy who developed it didn’t see
that one coming!
One of the
appointments I had yesterday was with a psychiatrist who most certainly wanted
to know why I would do such a thing for someone who was not a family member. I knew this appointment was coming and I was
somewhat concerned about whether the psychiatrist would really grasp the role
my faith and Jennifer’s has in this adventure we have embarked on together. It
was an interesting discussion to say the least!
What I was
most hesitant to share was how the Lord had impressed upon me that this was an
invitation to say yes to something He was leading me to do. It’s the “God
TOLD me to do it” explanation that I imagined would be a red flag to
someone whose job it is to recognize insanity!
Psychiatric hospitals are probably FULL of people who believe that God
speaks to them! I was thinking that if
the psychiatrist was not a person of faith, then I might be in trouble!
Just so you know, I do not believe that the
Lord speaks to me – or anyone anymore – in an audible voice. We now have the full counsel of God’s Word –
the Bible – and the indwelling Holy Spirit to speak for Him.
That’s how I believe God speaks today.
In this case, when I read Jennifer’s Facebook post, the Lord just kept
bringing it to my mind until I felt I had to act on it and see where it, or
rather He, would take me.
During the course
of the conversation with the psychiatrist, the Lord gave me a great deal of
opportunity to share how faith in Jesus impacts my motivations, my actions, and
my whole life really, and the Spirit gave me freedom in sharing it.
I shared how
it was the Lord who spoke to me through Jennifer’s Facebook posting with a link
about live kidney donorship. I shared
how it was the Lord who guided us through first the blood type match, and then
the cross match match. It is He who
guides us now through all the good test results that have been keeping the way
open. It is He who fills us with joy and
anticipation of what He’s going to do – in our lives and the lives of others –
whether or not I’m approved to be a donor, and whether or not Jennifer
ultimately receives my kidney. And it
will be the Lord who will help us both accept a “no”, in the event I am
rejected as a donor, although it would take time for us each to come to grips
with that.
The psychiatrist
asked if I saw this as a sort of culminating life goal of mine. I told her that glorifying God was a life goal
– in all of my life, not just in this – and that there were plenty of things I was
currently involved in to illustrate that, not just this. Jim spoke up as well
to assure her of that.
She asked if
I had any fear of a negative outcome to the surgery and I said no, because I felt
I was following the Lord’s leading, and because I knew what lay ahead at the
end of my life on this earth, and it would be glorious. She remarked then, “So you’re not afraid of dying?”.
My response was a hearty, “NO!, I know
where I’m going and the anticipation of it becomes sweeter the older I get”. Just to clarify though, in case she was
thinking maybe I had a death wish – I told her that despite the joyful
anticipation of heaven – I wasn’t anxious to get there just yet!
I don’t know
what impact, if any, anything I said had on that psychiatrist. I do know that the Lord was magnified as the
Spirit guided my words. My desire and
prayer will be that she’ll give some consideration to her own eternal future,
that curiosity about why I believe what I believe will cause her to seek for
herself what it means to have the kind of relationship with God through Jesus
that gives such joy and peace, and enables us to speak to Him, and Him to speak
to us and recognize His voice.
I would have
loved to have us each slip out of our “doctor”, “crazy donor” roles, so that we
could talk some more about eternal things – for they truly are more important
than the physical and temporal. Maybe she
and I will cross paths again and talk further, who knows?
Someone at
our women’s Bible class today quoted this verse from the Jewish prophet Jeremiah to
the nation of Israel:
“’For I know the plans I have for you’,
declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future. Then you will call
upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me
with all your heart. I will be found by
you, ‘ declares the LORD, ‘and will bring you back from captivity’.” Jeremiah 29:11-14a
May all
those who read these blogs and know Jesus personally be drawn to Him in a
deeper way, for He IS alive, He still speaks, He wants you to know Him – not just
intellectually, but personally, and He invites you to draw closer.
For those who
do not yet know Jesus, I pray that as you read these blogs, you’ll be drawn to
seek with all your heart the One who promises to be found by you when you
do. He, and only He, can bring you out
of the captivity of sin, and seal you to Himself through faith in Jesus.
So, to set
the record straight - I am NOT crazy!
But I AM crazy in love – with Jesus – the lover of my soul!
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