REFLECTIONS ON GROWING OLDER

I’ve often said that if I believed in reincarnation (which I don't), I’d want to come back as an Italian.  I know lots of Italians and they really know how to turn a fabulous dinner into a social occasion.  They love food – and what’s not to love about Italian food – but they never hurry the eating of it.  When it comes to food, my motto has always been, “Eat to live”, while theirs’ clearly is “Live to eat”!  I envy their ability to take a wonderful meal and make it an occasion to laugh and talk and enjoy one another.


But now that I’m in my 60’s, I just might prefer to come back as an Asian, and it has nothing to do with food.  Asians have a whole different attitude toward the elderly from us Americans.  When I visit the local nail salon run by Asians, they treat me like I’m a fragile, but revered, visiting dignitary.  They take my purse, hold my arm, and lead me cautiously to the nail dryer. 

Recently I've noticed the same kind of royalty treatment when my daughter and I visit our favorite Indian restaurant.


Then there were those young Asian girls a few years ago when I was working in a retail clothing store, who told me I was beautiful and they hoped their moms aged as well.  Only my dad ever said I was beautiful.  It did wonders for my ego and made me long to be Asian once again!


So why am I wasting “paper” on this topic, you might ask, since this particular blog doesn't have the same spiritual value as my other blogs?  Well, I’ve begun to notice lately, especially when I’m out with my 30 year old daughter Becky (who does happen to be blond, blue eyed, and easy on the eyes – and THAT may have something to do with it) that I seem to have become invisible to most people under 50.  She’s the one the waiters and salespeople address first, me second, if I’m addressed at all.


I wasn’t having an easy time aging anyway so being invisible isn’t playing well with me.


My mother in law, who turned 90 in November, relates her frustrations with invisibility every time she visits.  She is not a wall flower by any means, but she complains often that few younger people even notice her or engage her in conversation anymore.


My own mom, who never graduated from high school, but managed to rise to the rank of vice president of a savings and loan, and who had the BEST sense of humor, was just "the patient" in room 210 after a stroke made understanding her difficult.  It broke my heart that people continued to care for her body when inside her mind there was still a funny, intelligent person waiting for someone to listen and try and understand. She was still saying really funny stuff right up until the day before she died.


In recent years I’ve met a 90 something lady who fought in a revolution in Cuba, another with a doctorate in chemistry, and a third who was an English lit professor in a college.  Before I knew them they all fell into the category of “grandma types", but there were really interesting women inside those aging bodies just waiting for someone to draw them out.


So, if I can't be Asian, at least I can continue to fight invisibility, for myself and all those other wonderful "mature" women who have so much to offer if we'd only notice.  I'm going to seize what life the Lord has yet in store for me and LIVE it to the fullest!   

 So the next time you see a gray haired lady climbing walls at the rock climbing center, or helping to lay sidewalk in the Bahamas, or riding the highest roller coaster in the amusement park, don’t walk on by, and don’t tell her she’s too old to be doing that stuff – just wave and say hi, it just might be me!