I have not always been a retreat person. As an introvert, I was always intimidated by the togetherness of retreats - sitting at meals with people I didn't know, rooming with other people, maybe being asked to share things I wasn't ready to share. But over time, the Lord has changed me, and my heart, about retreats.
All those requests not to sit with friends, but to intentionally sit with strangers - although I hated them - eventually began to be a little more comfortable. Teaching and leadership opportunities the Lord provided stretched me beyond my comfort zone until I've come to the place where I really love retreats. To my great surprise, the Lord changed me! I now love meeting new people and am a lot more comfortable sharing conversation and even some of the personal things the Lord is doing in my heart. Anyone who knew that very shy and insecure person I was when I was younger would be totally surprised! Ah, what the Lord can do!
The best part of a retreat for me by far is still the time I spend alone with the Lord. That is, for me, what retreats are all about - and the best way to foster intimacy.
For quite a few years now I've attended a retreat that's held annually on the second weekend in May by a group called the North Jersey Ladies Retreat Assn. The retreat is attended by women from a number of churches from the northwestern part of New Jersey, which is one of the things I really love about it.
It's held at the Tuscarora Inn in Bethel, Pennsylvania. If you've never been there, the Tuscarora Inn occupies a gorgeous spot right on the Delaware River. The grounds are beautiful, with green grass, blooming trees and flowers, and lovely birdsong. The location alone would be a retreat - even without the worship music, prayer, and Bible teaching -except that the time there is specifically designed to draw us closer to the Lord.
For most of the years I've attended this retreat I've roomed with my sister in law, but this year she was unable to come. I prayed about whether or not I should go alone. I decided first to see if any of my friends from church could come, but surprisingly, no one was free this weekend! So, I took that as a sign that there was a good reason the Lord wanted me to attend alone and I looked forward to what He had in store. He did not disappoint - He never does.
Because the retreat comes so close to the end of a year of church activities, I'm usually very grateful for the time away to rest from the busyness of ministry. I also go with the expectation of waiting on the Lord for some direction for the year of ministry that will begin again in September, but the topic for this year's retreat changed the direction of my prayers.
The topic was "Intimacy with God". I didn't need a baseball bat to the head to figure out why the Lord had provided no roommate. Usually when my sister in law and I have gone, we spend most of our time together. At meals and in the chapel we sit with other people. All of those experiences are great, but it seemed to me that if I was going to practice the intimacy with the Lord that I was going to be hearing about during the weekend, then I was going to need some alone time with Him. I wanted that too, but I also didn't want to be so much to myself that I wasn't available to minister to someone the Lord brought across my path.
There was wonderful fellowship: in worship, around the dining table, sweet reunions with friends, prayer times with those the Lord laid on my heart. But the best time truly was spent alone with the Lord.
On Saturday afternoon, we had some free time. The Lord had already been speaking through His Word as the speaker brought it to us, but I had had no specific word from Him just for me. When I went back to my cottage I opened my Bible to where I'd been reading in the Psalms and determined that I would do what Jacob did when he wrestled an angel in Genesis. I said, "Lord, I'm going to keep reading and I'm not going to stop until you bless me with something specific from your Word." Since He delights in answering this kind of prayer, He did not disappoint.
The Lord stopped me at Psalm 16:5-11. David personalizes the psalm, so I decided to do the same.
"Dot, I have assigned you your portion and your cup; I have made your lot secure." I believe that what the Lord is saying is that nothing in my life has happened to me by chance. He assigned the family into which I would be born, as well as the country in which they would be living at the time of my birth. He gave me the husband I have and the children with which He's blessed me. He has ordained and/or designed the experiences I've had in my life, including cancer. He spoke through my mom when she encouraged the pursuit of a teaching degree. He pulled some strings to get me hired for a job in medical testing lab where I had NO experience, and then made it my mission field!
Some of those experiences scared the life out of me, some were so hard I wanted to run away, some were so painful they affected my sleep and knotted my stomach. But because God assigned them to me, my lot was never anything BUT secure. I was right where the Lord wanted me!
The boundary lines have fallen for you in pleasant places; surely you have a delightful inheritance. Even if things were hard, I had God's Word that He always maintained the boundary lines. Nothing touched me that hadn't passed through His hands first. He knew what I could handle with His help and what I couldn't and nothing crossed that boundary. I was never outside the boundary lines of His protection and care, never. His presence and sovereinty made them pleasant places of security. And I always had the indwelling presence of His Holy Spirit to uphold me and give me hope. He is the down payment on the full and delightful inheritance that still awaits me!
Praise the LORD, who counsels you; (I have designed it so that) even at night your heart instructs you. What a thought this was to me. The Lord is my counselor. He is my guide, my confidant, my wisdom, my light on the path I walk, my advice giver, my teacher - worthy of praise! Whether I'm sleeping soundly or wakeful during the night, my heart, which belongs to the LORD, indwelt by the Spirit, and filled with His Word, is my instructor!
This was so meaningful to me because that very morning in that twilight time between waking and sleeping, I remembered an incident from my past that came back to haunt me. I wondered why I should have thought of that when it had been forgiven so long ago. Immediately, even on the edge of wakefulness, my heart spoke: "Dot, that sin has been forgiven and forgotten by the Lord, let it go." Even in the night, my heart instructs me.
Dot, set Me always before you. Because I am at your right hand, you will not be shaken. This phrase made me sad because I don't always set the Lord before me. So many other things vie for that place - my family, my ministry opportunities, other people, good books, TV, even just plain laziness! But the Lord knows my heart. He know that that's where I WANT Him! I want Him ever before me so that I can more easily follow and so that when the storms of life come, I will NOT be shaken.
Therefore your heart can be glad and your tongue rejoice; even your body can rest secure. When the Lord is always before me, at my right hand, all the parts of my body benefit! My heart is glad. My tongue rejoices with praise. My body can rest assured. No more knots in my stomach, no more restless sleep from worry. Just rest in the presence of the Lord.
Because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. The first part of this verse has application to me too, because Jesus is my Savior. The promise that God will not abandon me to the grave is replaced by the one that says that when I am absent from my body it will be because I am present with the Lord. But both phrases also apply to Jesus. The Heavenly Father did not abandon His Son to the grave. He, who is the Holy One never saw the decay of His body because He was raised from the dead.
Dot, I have made known to you the path of life; I will fill you with joy in My presence, with eternal pleasures at My right hand." Thank you so much Father for making known to me the path of life centered in the death, resurrection and new life given to me by grace through faith in Your Son. Thank you for the joy that lies ahead in Your presence!
This morning during the worship portion of the retreat, we were asked to write the one thing that God had spoken to us during our times of intimacy with Him.
The words God spoke to my heart were so simple, so intimate and personal, so profound. They were, "Come away with Me."
Really, isn't that the only way to true intimacy? Could the Lord be whispering those words to you?
All those requests not to sit with friends, but to intentionally sit with strangers - although I hated them - eventually began to be a little more comfortable. Teaching and leadership opportunities the Lord provided stretched me beyond my comfort zone until I've come to the place where I really love retreats. To my great surprise, the Lord changed me! I now love meeting new people and am a lot more comfortable sharing conversation and even some of the personal things the Lord is doing in my heart. Anyone who knew that very shy and insecure person I was when I was younger would be totally surprised! Ah, what the Lord can do!
The best part of a retreat for me by far is still the time I spend alone with the Lord. That is, for me, what retreats are all about - and the best way to foster intimacy.
For quite a few years now I've attended a retreat that's held annually on the second weekend in May by a group called the North Jersey Ladies Retreat Assn. The retreat is attended by women from a number of churches from the northwestern part of New Jersey, which is one of the things I really love about it.
It's held at the Tuscarora Inn in Bethel, Pennsylvania. If you've never been there, the Tuscarora Inn occupies a gorgeous spot right on the Delaware River. The grounds are beautiful, with green grass, blooming trees and flowers, and lovely birdsong. The location alone would be a retreat - even without the worship music, prayer, and Bible teaching -except that the time there is specifically designed to draw us closer to the Lord.
For most of the years I've attended this retreat I've roomed with my sister in law, but this year she was unable to come. I prayed about whether or not I should go alone. I decided first to see if any of my friends from church could come, but surprisingly, no one was free this weekend! So, I took that as a sign that there was a good reason the Lord wanted me to attend alone and I looked forward to what He had in store. He did not disappoint - He never does.
Because the retreat comes so close to the end of a year of church activities, I'm usually very grateful for the time away to rest from the busyness of ministry. I also go with the expectation of waiting on the Lord for some direction for the year of ministry that will begin again in September, but the topic for this year's retreat changed the direction of my prayers.
The topic was "Intimacy with God". I didn't need a baseball bat to the head to figure out why the Lord had provided no roommate. Usually when my sister in law and I have gone, we spend most of our time together. At meals and in the chapel we sit with other people. All of those experiences are great, but it seemed to me that if I was going to practice the intimacy with the Lord that I was going to be hearing about during the weekend, then I was going to need some alone time with Him. I wanted that too, but I also didn't want to be so much to myself that I wasn't available to minister to someone the Lord brought across my path.
There was wonderful fellowship: in worship, around the dining table, sweet reunions with friends, prayer times with those the Lord laid on my heart. But the best time truly was spent alone with the Lord.
On Saturday afternoon, we had some free time. The Lord had already been speaking through His Word as the speaker brought it to us, but I had had no specific word from Him just for me. When I went back to my cottage I opened my Bible to where I'd been reading in the Psalms and determined that I would do what Jacob did when he wrestled an angel in Genesis. I said, "Lord, I'm going to keep reading and I'm not going to stop until you bless me with something specific from your Word." Since He delights in answering this kind of prayer, He did not disappoint.
The Lord stopped me at Psalm 16:5-11. David personalizes the psalm, so I decided to do the same.
"Dot, I have assigned you your portion and your cup; I have made your lot secure." I believe that what the Lord is saying is that nothing in my life has happened to me by chance. He assigned the family into which I would be born, as well as the country in which they would be living at the time of my birth. He gave me the husband I have and the children with which He's blessed me. He has ordained and/or designed the experiences I've had in my life, including cancer. He spoke through my mom when she encouraged the pursuit of a teaching degree. He pulled some strings to get me hired for a job in medical testing lab where I had NO experience, and then made it my mission field!
Some of those experiences scared the life out of me, some were so hard I wanted to run away, some were so painful they affected my sleep and knotted my stomach. But because God assigned them to me, my lot was never anything BUT secure. I was right where the Lord wanted me!
The boundary lines have fallen for you in pleasant places; surely you have a delightful inheritance. Even if things were hard, I had God's Word that He always maintained the boundary lines. Nothing touched me that hadn't passed through His hands first. He knew what I could handle with His help and what I couldn't and nothing crossed that boundary. I was never outside the boundary lines of His protection and care, never. His presence and sovereinty made them pleasant places of security. And I always had the indwelling presence of His Holy Spirit to uphold me and give me hope. He is the down payment on the full and delightful inheritance that still awaits me!
Praise the LORD, who counsels you; (I have designed it so that) even at night your heart instructs you. What a thought this was to me. The Lord is my counselor. He is my guide, my confidant, my wisdom, my light on the path I walk, my advice giver, my teacher - worthy of praise! Whether I'm sleeping soundly or wakeful during the night, my heart, which belongs to the LORD, indwelt by the Spirit, and filled with His Word, is my instructor!
This was so meaningful to me because that very morning in that twilight time between waking and sleeping, I remembered an incident from my past that came back to haunt me. I wondered why I should have thought of that when it had been forgiven so long ago. Immediately, even on the edge of wakefulness, my heart spoke: "Dot, that sin has been forgiven and forgotten by the Lord, let it go." Even in the night, my heart instructs me.
Dot, set Me always before you. Because I am at your right hand, you will not be shaken. This phrase made me sad because I don't always set the Lord before me. So many other things vie for that place - my family, my ministry opportunities, other people, good books, TV, even just plain laziness! But the Lord knows my heart. He know that that's where I WANT Him! I want Him ever before me so that I can more easily follow and so that when the storms of life come, I will NOT be shaken.
Therefore your heart can be glad and your tongue rejoice; even your body can rest secure. When the Lord is always before me, at my right hand, all the parts of my body benefit! My heart is glad. My tongue rejoices with praise. My body can rest assured. No more knots in my stomach, no more restless sleep from worry. Just rest in the presence of the Lord.
Because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. The first part of this verse has application to me too, because Jesus is my Savior. The promise that God will not abandon me to the grave is replaced by the one that says that when I am absent from my body it will be because I am present with the Lord. But both phrases also apply to Jesus. The Heavenly Father did not abandon His Son to the grave. He, who is the Holy One never saw the decay of His body because He was raised from the dead.
Dot, I have made known to you the path of life; I will fill you with joy in My presence, with eternal pleasures at My right hand." Thank you so much Father for making known to me the path of life centered in the death, resurrection and new life given to me by grace through faith in Your Son. Thank you for the joy that lies ahead in Your presence!
This morning during the worship portion of the retreat, we were asked to write the one thing that God had spoken to us during our times of intimacy with Him.
The words God spoke to my heart were so simple, so intimate and personal, so profound. They were, "Come away with Me."
Really, isn't that the only way to true intimacy? Could the Lord be whispering those words to you?
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