The area I live
in is one of the hubs of the hospitality industry here in the US. Not far from my home there are hotels and rental
condos for every pocketbook. There are theme
parks, water parks, and restaurants. Hospitality
is what is DONE here!
You need a
clean, reasonably priced room – we’ve got it!
You want a
clean, luxury room with a ton of extras – we’ve got it!
You want a
rental house that sleeps 12, we’ve got it!
You want a fast
food restaurant – we’ve got it!
You want a
nice, inexpensive meal in a family style restaurant – we’ve got it!
You want a
high priced 5 course meal with wine pairings – yep, we’ve got that too!
Hospitality here
is done on a grand scale.
I’ve been
thinking a lot about hospitality lately since our pastor has been preaching about
it. It’s something I need to think about
because the Bible has a bit to say about it.
Take the
following passages from the New Testament for example:
· Romans. 12:10-13 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer, distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.
· Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels
without knowing it.
These
verses tell us that whether we have an opportunity to serve other Christians or
total strangers with hospitality, we are to give ourselves over to it.
Hospitality
is also a desirable qualification for a church pastor as well, as the Apostle Paul
says in these verses:
· I Timothy 3:2 Now the overseer (pastor) is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.
· Titus 1:8 (A pastor) must be hospitable, one
who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.
If you
have ever met someone in the hospitality industry, maybe a waiter or
receptionist, who was rude to you, or who ignored you, then you know how important
this verse is:
· 1 Pet
4:9 Offer hospitality to one
another without grumbling.
So what IS hospitality?
For this we look to the Webster and Oxford Dictionaries:
· Hospitality = hospitable treatment, reception, or
disposition; the friendly and generous
reception and entertainment of guests, visitors or strangers; the action of
receiving a guest or guests and providing them with food and drink.
You probably know people who are really good at being
hospitable. They love having people to
their homes. They enjoy the cooking and
preparation that goes into having guests.
They set a lovely table. They’re
good at small talk and manage to make everyone feel welcome. The more the merrier is their motto!
Then there are others who are also good at being hospitable,
but in a much more casual way. They also
love having people to their homes, but they don’t fuss. The meal is simple, maybe served on paper
plates, maybe bought at the local supermarket and not homemade. They are also good at small talk and make
everyone feel welcome. Even if they were
planning for six but four more show up, their attitude is, “Come on in!” They may add water to the soup, but you’ll
never know it.
Neither of those is me.
I’m quiet. I have a lovely home
but inviting a number of people all at once, even if I know them, is
stressful. Even if I’m buying the food
at the supermarket. Just thinking about
having people over can cause me innumerable sleepless nights. Practicing this kind of hospitality is
torture for me.
This is the person I am, and the way the Lord made me. Maybe He made you that way too. So what is an introverted person to do to practice
hospitality, as God intends us to, in a way that suits his or her personality?
Be intentional.
I don’t know about you, but spontaneous hospitality is a
real hurdle for me (even more than planned hospitality!). I’m thinking maybe someone’s response will be
negative. I’m worried we’ll run out of
things to say. I’m worried they’ll stay
too long. If I’m going to practice hospitality,
I’m going to have to put those worries aside and be intentional about it.
If there is a woman I want to know better, I begin to think
about making a plan to meet with her and I tell her it’s because I want to know
her better. I might have to encourage
myself several times before I actually make the call, send the email, but I will
do it if I plan to do so. Introverts don’t
do spontaneous hospitality well, but if we plan it and keep it simple, it can
be done, and the reward is worth it.
Look for the lonely.
I experienced so many times of loneliness since we moved
here to a new place with lots of new people from all over the country. I would venture a guess that I’m not the only
one who has felt lonely.
Ask the Lord to help you be aware of those around you who
seem to always be alone. They sit
alone. They go to activities alone. They’re quiet. They’re new.
They’re handicapped. They’re from
another country. They speak a different
language.
Move outside your comfort zone, forget your anxieties, and
reach out to someone who would be happy for someone to be hospitable.
Start small (and maybe keep it
small)
Jim and I are often been invited to the homes of
neighbors where there are a dozen or more people gathered. It is not at all likely that when I do
practice hospitality, I start by inviting six people over, never mind a dozen, even
if I know them all! However, I can start
with one friend, or one new acquaintance, or a familiar couple, or two women
who maybe already know one another. Keeping
it small greatly reduces the stress so that I can relax and be welcoming and
actually enjoy my guest. I may never
graduate to inviting more than 2, but that’s okay, at least I’m practicing
hospitality.
Keep it simple.
Who says when we practice hospitality that we need to go
all out with our best table linens, flowers, a gourmet meal? We can start with coffee and scones bought at
the grocery store, or just coffee! Having
coffee limits the time we’re together to an hour or so, a good first step in
practicing hospitality. We can invite
our guest to a local restaurant for breakfast.
In my community, we can meet at the clubhouse for coffee.
I have a lovely home, as do each one of my neighbors, but
we so rarely invite one another in. I
have to be intentional about inviting someone into my home as well. Homes are such lovely, welcoming places to
share coffee with someone.
There’s a funny meme I’ve seen on Facebook that says: I like to leave get well cards on my mantle
so that when guests come and see my dusty house, they’ll think I’ve been sick!
So, intentionally invite when you know the house could use
a dusting. Leave the discarded magazines
in a disorganized mess on the coffee table.
It will help remind you that hospitality isn’t entertaining, it’s welcoming
someone in to share your life and your space and to allow them to share their
lives too.
Be Jesus to your guest.
Remember Mary and Martha in the Bible. When they were practicing hospitality with
their guests – Jesus and His disciples – Martha was in the kitchen fussing over
the meal. She was pretty annoyed with
Mary for sitting in the other room listening to Jesus. When she complained to Jesus, He told her
that she was worried about many things, but Mary had chosen the ONE thing that
was of greater value – sitting at the feet of Jesus.
Forget about the many things that go with hospitality. Think about your guest. As Mary did with Jesus, let go of your
anxiety to sit and listen. Really hear
what she, or they, have to say. Ask them
about themselves, listen for things for which you can pray for them, be as
welcoming to them as you would if it was Jesus you were entertaining. Pray that the Lord will use that time to
build a real friendship.
Ask the Lord for opportunities to practice hospitality and
watch for what He provides.
You don’t have to live in the land of hospitality to
practice hospitality, but if we’re going to obey the Bible’s commands to do so,
then we have to start somewhere.
Time to get started!
Be intentional. Look
for the lonely. Start small. Keep it
simple. Be Jesus to your guests.
